Tag Archives: values

Keeping up with the Joneses

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As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. John F. Kennedy

Gratitude: according to definition, this is the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.  The origin of the word is Latin Gratus which means to be pleasing, thankful. Interestingly enough in my little research I discovered that the word has been used less and less through the years from 1800’s to 2010. What does that mean, are we less grateful now, or do we just use other words to describe the same thing? Go figure.

I break down the word to great and attitude, though as shown above this is not the true meaning of the word, I think to have gratitude, one must have a great attitude so it is fitting right? My understanding of the word is to be thankful of one’s situation and plight, to pay attention to what you are and have and not to dwell on what you lack.

This brings to mind a saying I heard a lot while growing up “keeping up with the Joneses”, meaning always striving to be more or better than your neighbour.  Unfortunately this is the way that many of us are choosing to live today; some of us are so busy competing with the neighbour, attempting to acquire what the neighbour has, living the life that our neighbour lives, that we lose sight of who we truly are and what we already have.  I don’t believe that it is possible to be happy in a life of “keeping up” because the Jones’s make their decisions based on their own values, what they love, what they are capable of, whilst those “keeping up”  are there making the decisions so as not to be left behind and seem less than the Jones’s.  The choices made; to buy a new car, acquire a new house or take a vacation are not truly governed by your own internal desires and choice, therefore after you have acquired all that enables you to believe you are equal or even superior to the Jones’s  you will find that you will not enjoy it.  You are left empty trying to live someone else’s life and attempting to attain someone else’s dreams; completely unfulfilling to you.  Bringing me to wonder, when you are so busy “keeping up with the Joneses” who is living your life? Fulfilling your destiny? What a sad state of existence.

Having gratitude is about accepting your situation and being thankful for all that you have, this does not mean complacency nor is it to encourage you to wallow in mediocrity, no, it is  in my opinion more about looking around you, taking stock of who you are and what have accomplished and appreciating that.  No matter how little it is, consider it a step towards fulfilling your destiny.  It should serve as encouragement for you to forge ahead, irrespective of challenges you face.  This is your springboard to the next level.  Once you appreciate what you have in the present, then you can make plans to achieve more and better in the future.  This should not be motivated by competition with neighbours or by others perception of how you choose to live your life.  It should be done in keeping with your individual values and drive. Always follow your passions towards your destiny; ensure those passions are in sync with your psyche and feel good in your soul.

Gratitude means we can achieve all the blessings bestowed upon each of us, another step to happiness.  We all have reasons to be grateful and we should embrace those reasons so as to attract more towards us.  If we do not know how to appreciate what we have, do we really know who we are and where we are going?

Slipping through my fingers

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Slipping through my fingers all the time
Songwriters:ANDERSSON, BENNY GORAN BROR / ULVAEUS, BJOERN K. / KORTNEV, ALEKSEJ ANATOLEVICH

“…………………………………………..
And a sense of guilt I can’t deny
What happened to the wonderful adventures
The places I had planned for us to go
(slipping through my fingers all the time)
Well, some of that we did but most we didn’t
And why I just don’t know
Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
the feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time ………”

Life! What a wonderful, wondrous and fragile thing! When we embrace life and choose to live it as the real thing and not as a dress rehearsal, it indeed can be very fulfilling.  I bet most of us no matter what stresses we have in our lives and whatever hardships we are facing can stop for a moment and think that one thought, invoke that one memory that gladden’s our minds and lightens our hearts! We can always be thankful for something no matter how small and no matter how mundane it may seem to others, for us it is just what we need to keep us going!

Life, why am I talking about life? Because we take it for granted, we take living for granted, working for granted, breathing for granted, we become complacent and don’t make much effort to ensure that we are living quality lifestyles surrounded by people who add value to our lives.  We forget that the future is not guaranteed; that each and every minute lived is gone and cannot be returned to do over.  Each and every human encounter is special and unique in that it will never again happen like that; A burst of laughter from the gut rendering us in stitches, or the tears of sorrow or sadness or pain, once they occur they are unique and never to be replicated.

We allow life to slip by us without giving it a second thought without as much as a sideways glance at what we have let slip by and lost, oblivious to what lessons we should have learned from it and what memories we could have cherished. Why this somber mood? I will tell you, I was watching my Angel Tween the other day at the craft table in our house doing some home work where she was required to make a scrap-book about the classic Great Expectations(Charles Dickens).  Every time I tried to ask to help I was silenced with a reproachful look I stalled in my tracks and my speech.  I experienced a bitter-sweet feeling, bitter because she does not need me anymore like she used to and sweet from pride because she is coming into her own my little person and doing an amazing job at being independent.  I felt a sadness as I left the room looking back and saying “I will be in my room if you need me, just ask okay sweetie?” her reply? An absent-minded “sure mum thanks”.  She had already reverted back to her task and I was more a hindrance than a help.

Life slips by every moment, every day, every week month and year. It slips by whether we like it or not, whether we are present or absent it slips by. Yesterday I thought life would go a certain way, today I look back and see how many wasted moments I had and I am determined not to waste anymore time.  I am living with determination and purpose, without remorse or apologies; I am living every moment because that moment is the very last till the next one.  I am embracing life and all the experiences around me.  I am hugging my Angel Tween when the urge hits me, and making no apologies, luckily I raised her with enough good manners to humor me as I smother her with yet another hug just because.  My friends, don’t waste another moment, with your friends and loved ones, don’t waste any more time with life.  We only have one life, let us live it before it slips through our fingers never to return.