Tag Archives: Self-Reflection •

A Journey Alone: Finding Solace in Solitude

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If you conquer yourself, then you will conquer the world. Paulo Coelho, Aleph

Embracing Solitude

We are born alone, we die alone, and throughout our lives, we will often find ourselves alone. One of life’s great joys is to be alone without feeling lonely. When we’re alone, we have the chance to commune with our souls, to quietly open up and unravel what’s inside.

From Loneliness to Self-Acceptance

I often find myself alone due to the nature of my work, which requires a lot of solitary time. At first, I struggled with loneliness. I’d be in a beautiful tented camp with stunning surroundings and luxuries, yet I felt so isolated that I couldn’t enjoy the beauty around me. I would see a perfect dawn or an astounding sunset and feel sadness that no one was there to share it with me. Even while enjoying a wonderful meal, I couldn’t fully appreciate it without someone to share the experience with. To escape the feeling of loneliness, I would fill my time with work, movies, or trivial tasks, anything to keep my mind busy and distracted.

Understanding Loneliness

It took me a while to realize that loneliness is a state of mind. It’s not about where you are or who you’re with; it’s about how you perceive your situation. I’ve found myself in crowded places feeling lonelier than if I were alone in my room. Sometimes, this was due to my own choice to shut people out and isolate myself.

Finding Companionship in Solitude

Conversely, I’ve been completely alone and felt like I had the whole world as my companion. I’ve sat at dawn, watching the daybreak, observing little birds gathering twigs for their nests, ants foraging for food, and trees rustling gently in the wind. In these moments, I became part of the natural world around me, and the solitude felt comforting rather than lonely.

The Inner Pilgrimage

Now, when I am alone, I sometimes embark on an inner journey. Instead of just observing the world around me, I take a pilgrimage into myself. This practice of self-reflection has become a fulfilling way to handle solitude without feeling lonely.

Reflecting on Pilgrimage

Living by the coast, surrounded by a community that frequently discusses pilgrimage to Mecca, I’ve often thought about the concept of pilgrimage. People embark on this journey in search of spiritual enlightenment. Although I respect their reasons and cannot fully understand their experiences, I focus on the individual pilgrimage—the journey within oneself.

We can try to escape everything around us, and even run from ourselves for a time, but eventually, we confront ourselves. Instead of running, I recommend taking time to journey inward, confronting who we are and who we might become. We should reflect on our triumphs and accomplishments, remember the joy and laughter, and celebrate ourselves and the sources of our happiness. We must also acknowledge our failures and losses, allowing ourselves to feel and process our pain, and then forgive ourselves. Recognizing both our weaknesses and strengths is crucial.

Completing the Inner Journey

At the end of this inner pilgrimage, we might feel a mix of gratitude, satisfaction, exhaustion, and even euphoria. We will have completed our journey and can move forward, ready for whatever life has in store. Regularly taking this inner pilgrimage can help us become more content, as we accept ourselves and, consequently, make it easier for others to accept us. This practice helps us conquer ourselves and allows us to be alone without feeling lonely.

If you enjoyed this reflection on solitude and inner journeys, be sure to check out my latest video on the same topic over on my YouTube channel, @thandishaven. In the video, I dive deeper into finding solace in solitude and share personal insights and experiences that weren’t included in this post. Don’t miss it!

And if you’re inspired by the beauty of solitude, you might enjoy reading the classic poem “I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud” by William Wordsworth, which you can find at https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/45521/i-wandered-lonely-as-a-cloud

Life’s Lessons from Parrot Fish and Pirahnas?

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“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experiences.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

Introduction: The Journey of Life and Lessons

Life is a series of lessons—a journey of experiences, as a wise friend once said. They didn’t label these experiences as good or bad; they simply called them what they are: moments to learn from. The way we handle these situations, both in real-time and in hindsight, shapes us.

A forward-thinking person sees each encounter as an opportunity to learn something valuable for the future. When faced with a similar challenge, they can dip into their past experiences to either sidestep familiar pitfalls or embrace a positive opportunity with confidence.

But how often do we truly reflect on these experiences?  It’s easy to breeze past life’s events without pausing to consider what we’ve learned. Yet, it’s in the quiet moments of reflection where growth happens—where we can separate what we know to just reacting so something unknown.

Identifying Different “Fish”: The Power of Perspective

“Looks like a fish, acts like a fish—it’s a fish!” Seems straightforward, right? Well, not quite.

This type of thinking oversimplifies things, missing the nuances.  Let’s break it down: A Parrotfish and a Goldfish are indeed fish.  But so are a Piranha and a Pufferfish.  The implications of encountering each one, however, are wildly different.  A Parrotfish is vibrant and harmless, a creature to admire, while a Piranha… let’s just say that’s a fish you’d want to steer clear of—fast!  Both are fish, but the experience of meeting one versus the other couldn’t be more distinct.

I believe that the same principle applies in life. We often meet people or face situations that, on the surface, seem similar.  But dig a little deeper, and you’ll notice the differences that matter.  Not every friendly smile means well, and not every obstacle is there to hinder you. Recognizing these subtleties can be the difference between thriving and merely surviving.

Shouldn’t we, then, be more mindful of the types of “fish” we encounter in life? It’s important to recognize their unique traits rather than lumping them into the same category. Let’s stop assuming that if something swims like a fish and looks like a fish, it’s just a fish. Each type of fish deserves its own recognition for what it truly is.

One of life’s biggest challenges is resisting the urge to generalize. It’s easy to categorize people, situations, or even opportunities based on superficial traits or past experiences. However, true wisdom lies in the ability to see things for what they really are, not what they seem to be at first glance.

Applying the Lessons: Distinguishing and Adapting

Reflecting on my personal journey, I’ve managed to distinguish a “fish” from, say, an “elephant”—or even closer, between a “fish” and a “lobster.” Still, I’ve fallen into the trap of generalization from time to time.  Yes, I’ve mistaken a Piranha for a Parrotfish before. Fortunately, I escaped those encounters  with minimal scars, and I believe, in retrospect, I emerged  a little wiser each time.

Learning to identify the Piranhas in life—those people or situations that may cause harm—is crucial. But so is recognizing the Parrotfish, those positive opportunities might be overlooked if we’re too focused on avoiding danger. It’s all about balance, keen observation.

So, what’s the lesson here?

  • Never underestimate anything or anyone: Life has a way of surprising us, and even the smallest interactions can carry weight.
  • Avoid sweeping generalizations: Each experience, person, or opportunity is unique and deserves careful consideration.
  • Draw on your past experiences: Your memory bank is a treasure trove of valuable insights that can guide your future decisions.
  • Stay adaptable in a constantly evolving world: Life is dynamic. The ability to learn and unlearn is key to thriving.

Conclusion: Living Life with Passion and Awareness

Life is short, and we should live it with passion and enthusiasm. But let’s also approach it with caution and respect for others, always eager to bank new experiences for future encounters with Parrotfish—or Piranhas.

It’s the accumulation of these experiences that helps us navigate the complexities of life with grace, resilience, and wisdom. Whether you’re faced with a harmless fish or a lurking predator, remember that every encounter teaches you something—if you’re willing to listen.

Want to see more? Watch my video on the Lamu Cultural Festival on my YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/@thandishaven