Keeping up with the Joneses

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. John F. Kennedy

Gratitude: according to definition, this is the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.  The origin of the word is Latin Gratus which means to be pleasing, thankful. Interestingly enough in my little research I discovered that the word has been used less and less through the years from 1800’s to 2010. What does that mean, are we less grateful now, or do we just use other words to describe the same thing? Go figure.

I break down the word to great and attitude, though as shown above this is not the true meaning of the word, I think to have gratitude, one must have a great attitude so it is fitting right? My understanding of the word is to be thankful of one’s situation and plight, to pay attention to what you are and have and not to dwell on what you lack.

This brings to mind a saying I heard a lot while growing up “keeping up with the Joneses”, meaning always striving to be more or better than your neighbour.  Unfortunately this is the way that many of us are choosing to live today; some of us are so busy competing with the neighbour, attempting to acquire what the neighbour has, living the life that our neighbour lives, that we lose sight of who we truly are and what we already have.  I don’t believe that it is possible to be happy in a life of “keeping up” because the Jones’s make their decisions based on their own values, what they love, what they are capable of, whilst those “keeping up”  are there making the decisions so as not to be left behind and seem less than the Jones’s.  The choices made; to buy a new car, acquire a new house or take a vacation are not truly governed by your own internal desires and choice, therefore after you have acquired all that enables you to believe you are equal or even superior to the Jones’s  you will find that you will not enjoy it.  You are left empty trying to live someone else’s life and attempting to attain someone else’s dreams; completely unfulfilling to you.  Bringing me to wonder, when you are so busy “keeping up with the Joneses” who is living your life? Fulfilling your destiny? What a sad state of existence.

Having gratitude is about accepting your situation and being thankful for all that you have, this does not mean complacency nor is it to encourage you to wallow in mediocrity, no, it is  in my opinion more about looking around you, taking stock of who you are and what have accomplished and appreciating that.  No matter how little it is, consider it a step towards fulfilling your destiny.  It should serve as encouragement for you to forge ahead, irrespective of challenges you face.  This is your springboard to the next level.  Once you appreciate what you have in the present, then you can make plans to achieve more and better in the future.  This should not be motivated by competition with neighbours or by others perception of how you choose to live your life.  It should be done in keeping with your individual values and drive. Always follow your passions towards your destiny; ensure those passions are in sync with your psyche and feel good in your soul.

Gratitude means we can achieve all the blessings bestowed upon each of us, another step to happiness.  We all have reasons to be grateful and we should embrace those reasons so as to attract more towards us.  If we do not know how to appreciate what we have, do we really know who we are and where we are going?

MY LIFE: JUST IN CASE!

“To get to know a woman

don’t look inside her heart,

just rummage through her handbag

the perfect place to start!

Handbags, whether large or small

tell our secrets, one and all.”

Excerpt from a poem HANDBAGS by Elijah A. Terry

This morning  I was preparing my handbag on my way to work, every day I carry a handbag to work,  I carry a handbag to go shopping, actually every time I leave the house, I carry my handbag with me.  Even when I am going for my early morning squash session, I leave my handbag in the car, in case I need something in it, in the three minutes it takes to drive from my house to the squash court.  Normally, I just pick a handbag that suits what I am wearing (to the best of my ability, I am not exactly a fashionista).  I then absent-mindedly switch the contents from the handbag I used previously to the one I will be using.   I carry roughly the same things every day.

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“I believe I …………..”

“Only in quiet waters, things mirror themselves undistorted.  Only in a quiet mind is adequate perception of the world.” Hans Margolius, quoted in A Toolbox for Humanity

In the process of discussions with friends and general experiences, I have come to the conclusion that you define your life by your perception of it. In other words, I will react to the world in the way that I see the world and my place in it. Continue reading