Shhh…… Quiet!

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“True silence is the rest of the mind and is to the spirit what sleep is to the body, nourishment and refreshment.” – William Penn

The Peaceful Silence

Sometimes, I wake up and it’s quiet. So still and silent. (Not totally though, that would be unnatural, unnerving, probably indicating something is very wrong.) I mean the kind of silence where the only sound you hear is at the periphery of your mind—distant noises that blend into the stillness, gently giving it a natural tranquility.

Silence in the morning, when you’re privileged enough to wake up to the distant sounds of birds, a slight rustle of leaves in the soft, gentle wind. Silence, when the bombardment of daily noises is missing. Noise pollution, which we’ve all become so accustomed to, is momentarily stilled.

The Calm Within

The quiet of the world allows us to reflect, make peace within ourselves, and sort out the clutter in our minds and hearts. But when that quiet is shattered, and we’re bombarded with loud, unnatural sounds, it feels as though our spirits grow weary. The noise invades our senses, leaving little room for coherent thought or peace. That’s when we yearn for more natural sounds—the chirping of birds, the distant laughter of children, the soft breeze, or the gentle waves nudging the shore.

Silence That Signals Danger

There’s another kind of silence—the kind that signals danger. It’s the eerie calm before the storm. I remember living in the Caribbean, where I experienced my first hurricane. The preparation, the frantic stocking of supplies, and the hammering of shutters on windows.

Hurricanes come in three parts: the initial onslaught, the eye, and the final part, which often comes with more fury. The eye of the hurricane was the most unsettling. After the winds and rain came an unnerving silence. No sounds, not even from the animals. It was so unnaturally still, I felt suffocated by it. The air was thick with apprehension. Then, just as quickly as it arrived, the storm returned with more anger and destruction.

Nature’s Power and Our Vulnerability

Experiences like this make you realize just how small we are compared to the power of nature. To witness nature reclaiming everything without compassion is humbling. But surviving it brings immense gratitude.

When I think back to that silence, a silence I never wish to experience again, I appreciate all the other types of quiet—those that bring peace and calm in our chaotic world. The silence in our hearts when all is well, when I feel content, at peace, and walk with a spring in my step, grateful for the gentle side of nature.

 

When I grow Up

When we are children we seldom think of the future. This innocence leaves us free to enjoy ourselves as few adults can. The day we fret about the future is the day we leave our childhood behind. Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind 

As I continue on this journey called life, I am getting used to being an empty nester. I review my life regularly and I’m grateful that I can look back and remember a lot of my childhood. In addition to looking back, I also look forward with hope and expectation. Asking myself how to reinvent me, to grow and learn, to become. Difficult though it may be, I find the process a great adventure. The next adventure of my life and there have been many!

I love that I am in that position where I can ask myself, what and who I want to be. I am not so arrogant as to think I have reached the pinnacle, far from it. There are times when I am am overwhelmed. When I am thinking about all the things that I have not done and might still want to do. Time moves so quickly, I hope there is enough. When I feel panicked about time, I review all I have accomplished and experienced through the years. This helps me maintain balance. Reminds me that though I still have many things I want to do. I have thus far lived a fulfilling life. A life full of activity and adventure, giving me balance.

What do I want to be when I grow up?

I remember when playing as a child and being really happy. Laughing a lot, playing outdoors, climing trees, sneaking to the river. Living in complete childlike abandon. My playmates and I particularly like climbing fruit trees as they had the added incentive of the fruit that we could eat. There was this particular guava tree when in fruit had the biggest juiciest sweetest guavas. I remember sitting on its smooth branches for hours gorging myself with guava fruit. How simple life was then.

We had such fantastical dreams and imagination. I recall wanting to be a cowboy. Must have read about it somewhere as we did not have television. We believed that to be a cowboy, you had to ride a cow. Once, my playmates convinced me (it did not take much) to jump off of the tree branch I was sitting on, onto a cow grazing below. This would make me a bonafide cowboy! I did jump down onto the cow, it did not go as expected. Well, let’s say I am still alive to tell the tale.

Recently I called a childhood friend of mine Watene, to ask him if he remembers what we used to talk about becoming when we grew up. I have known this guy since I was eight and we spent a lot of time together both at boarding school and at home in the holidays (our parents were friends). He laughed, at my odd question, yet one that he probably had thought of himself. How often do we look at our lives and wonder if we had made one different decision, what our lives would be now? Anyway, he was not much help, or maybe what he said was liberating.

As we spoke through the memories of our times as children, we both discovered that we were way too busy being kids to bother ourselves with what we were going to be when we grew up, which was aeons away. It was hard work just trying to think about what we were going to eat for our next meal. Too much thought into the future would have gotten in the way, the thinking was definitely optional. It would have ruined the ability for us to play, laugh and generally enjoy ourselves and living responsibility-free life, as children often do, or should. 

Lucky children that we were, we bothered with the more important things, like having fun! We enjoyed ourselves no matter what we did or where we were. It did not matter that we were not extraordinarily beautiful or had good figures. We cared nothing for wealth, or that we had not travelled the world. In our minds, we had circumnavigated the entire galaxy several times over.

In retrospect, I realize how wonderful it was to be so carefree. Carefree enough to only worry about enjoying the moment. Now I should use the wisdom gained from experience and an awesome childhood. Make a great effort in living now, loving now, laughing now and not worrying too much about things that are beyond my control. What has been has been, and what will be will be. I don’t have the power to change it.

I do however have the power to choose how to live now. Choose to love with abandon and not care it’s reciprocated. Laugh now until tears stream down my cheeks. Laugh until my belly hurts. Think, feel, do, so that twenty years from now, I can look back and smile from my soul. Smile, knowing that I of lived my life to the fullest.

Golf musings in Quarantine

“Keep your sense of humor. There’s enough stress in the rest of your life not to let bad shots ruin a game you’re supposed to enjoy.” – Amy Alcott

I am in quarantine and experiencing cabin fever. Reason being, I have been indoors for an extended amount of time, unable or maybe even too prudent to leave. I don’t miss the social aspects of life, as I am a solitary creature so the quiet and solitude works for me. What I miss is the exercise, the routine, the things that make up my everyday life. I normally try to play a round of golf each morning (my daily exercise). Due to this new situation that has befallen all of us, I am homebound. 

Before the COVID curfew, I had reached a point where my elbows on both arms were complaining. Too much golf, it was time to take a break. With my personality, I probably would not have done it on my own accord. I would have stubbornly, continued playing. Eventually reverting to Deep Heat and other things to ease the pains, instead of just giving my arms and body a break. 

Why is it so important to me? It is a form of exercise that gets me out early in the morning and has me out in nature. That time of the morning the world is just waking up. The dew is still on the grass and it is quiet and everything is fresh and sparkling. The sun is out yet gentle and beginning its steady climb up. Morning, when the suns rays just kiss my skin. As I walk, as I argue with this little ball, about who will get the better of whom? 

I listen to music as I play golf, my choice of music, depending on my mood that morning. Sometimes I take my headphones off and listen to the songs of nature as the world awakes. It is lovely and new, the birdsongs, the sounds of the ocean as it hits the shores. I walk in solitude, listen to the “quiet” of the morning. I have time to look around, admiring the beautiful the course with its well-cut fairways, not very challenging rough, and its beautifully manicured greens. 

The sand bunkers beacon me and I graciously decline, I don’t do well with bunkers. I watch the grounds team as I walk by. They are clearing, cutting busy making the course even better. I watch the sprinklers as they water the fairways to keep them green. So much effort goes to keeping this course in top shape. The club employs many people to man the grounds and ensures that our playing experience maximized.

I fell in love with the game. From the very first day, when I ventured onto the range to “give it a try”, I became besotted with the game. A love affair that has persisted all these years. As time passed, I got better acquainted with golf. The more I played more the more I fell deeply in love with golf. 

The game of golf, I love, though not all the fluff that comes with it. I do not like the 19th hole. Socializing at the club is not my strong point. I have made good friends at the club, but I do not spend much time in the clubhouse etc. 

I do not like the politics associated with golf clubs. There is also a lot of elitism which is not very pleasant. I am not very keen on the way people deal with each other socially at the club. However, because mine is to come into the club, play golf, and leave. I only socialize with people I like and deal with only those that I chose to deal with. I am having a great time of it. Currently, the clubhouse isn’t even open, the only people that frequent the club now are the ones playing golf. 

The thing I love about golf is the individualism of it.   My preference when playing with other people, once the pleasantries are dealt with, is to concentrate on my game. Testing myself, by focusing on every shot. I love to take risky shots, shots that maybe a more prudent golfer (person?) would shy away from. These risky shots are great when they work, and hilariously bad when they don’t. Many serious golfers get annoyed at me when I laugh when my risky shots turn into foibles They tell me I could be a better player if I took the game more seriously. My response? I play golf to have fun!

This was my normal, before COVID before I was locked down in my house. It took a while for the club to decide what to do about us playing golf. With the lockdown and the initial panic and social distancing, it became a bit unclear whether we were welcome to play or not. No matter, I am sure they will find a way for me to continue playing this game I love so much. In the meantime, I just look into my mind’s eye and remember my morning golfing moments and that will keep me going for a while.

Thriving in these times!

“Sometimes when things are falling apart, they may actually be falling into place.” J. Lynn

I took a walk today on the beach this morning at 6:30 am. I thought that it would be a good time to go for peace and the quiet of the early morn. A time to get in my exercise, while practising social distancing. Surprising, the beach was full of people. There usually are not that many people on the beach that early. 

Where was the prescribed l distancing? Not on this beach. They were all going against the current law. I did notice that many of them were young, probably teenagers, in small groups engaged in different activities. 

The tapestry of life that II witnessed, included several small groups. One group of young men involved in exercises. The group had assigned leaders showing them what to do with one of them assigned to record and point out the ones doing the exercises incorrectly.

Another group of youngsters were in the water swimming and egging each other on with different challenges. Yet another group were running together on the beach. A final group were tackling a makeshift obstacle course. This group came complete with spectators, some heckling, others encouraging the participants of the course. 

All the groups were all enjoying the beach and ocean, completely enthralled in their activities. I noted that there were very few women/ girls on the beach. Including myself, there were no more than 7. In contrast, there were easily 30-40 men and boys on the beach. 

The fishermen were there at their usual landing site, engaged in various activities. Some Fishermen were repairing nets under a tree. Some were cleaning their catch at the water’s edge. Another small group were preparing to go to sea in their Ngalaus'(wooden canoes) or on their surfboards.  This was just another day for the fishermen, fish to be caught, a livelihood to be sought!

It was a beautiful morning. A gentle breeze from the ocean. A clear blue sky adorned by the early morning sun. So camaraderie on that beach, it made me smile to observe it. Though they were all going against the current rules, their presence created an atmosphere full of laughter and joy!

Observing this, I began to focus on the positives of that morning. I was witnessing people making the most of the negative situation the whole world is in. People choosing to thrive in the strife we were all experiencing, subsequently choosing to get on with life! Finding joy in little things and enjoying the beautiful morning. I pray that they will not get sick. That they can continue to fish for their livelihood. The youngsters can exercise and laugh and enjoy each others company. Do all the things that make living in the now so fulfilling, amidst the current challenges.

I love that the youth can take advantage of their time out of school, to keep fit and be healthy. They seem not to know or possibly not care, that there is a pandemic that has stopped the world. Consequently disrupting the typical flow of their lives. They instead are focusing on living life to the fullest. Making the very best of a bad situation. watching them interact, made me feel good. I love the way they focus on how they feel, living actively, in the present. 

People are worried about the current situation. How long it will continue, and what will happen tomorrow. The whole world is at a standstill. It is refreshing then, to witness these young people making the best out an impossible situation. Too busy having fun, to worry or be depressed and sad about the current situation. It might help that they have the luxury not to worry as they have their elders to do that for them.

As much as I am a grown-up and worry is one of my responsibilities. I would rather be like the young people on that beach that morning. Enjoying what I can of the current situation. Actively seeking to look for positives in every situation, hence flourishing, despite all the negatives. It will play out no matter what I feel or want, so I choose to make the best of it. Use this time to grow and live, until it is over and we move beyond it. 

There is always a silver lining on every rain cloud. I want to focus on that silver lining. This will enable me to deal with the uncertainty of these times we are living in. Allow me to hope and hold on until tomorrow.

Not saying it is easy, but nothing worth it comes that easily. I am willing to adjust my mindset. I want to be like those young people on the beach. Living life to the fullest regardless of the situation. Seeing all the good in my current situation. Which in turn allows me to feel better about myself. Feel better about the world around me and the plight we all find ourselves in.

Bad Days!

“Be in love with your life, every minute of it” Jack Kerouac

 I have really struggled with this piece. All week-long I was waiting for some inspiration, a word or phrase or something to spark enough interest to enable me to write for the week. Nada! Continue reading