Tag Archives: Inspiration

A Journey Alone: Finding Solace in Solitude

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If you conquer yourself, then you will conquer the world. Paulo Coelho, Aleph

Embracing Solitude

We are born alone, we die alone, and throughout our lives, we will often find ourselves alone. One of life’s great joys is to be alone without feeling lonely. When we’re alone, we have the chance to commune with our souls, to quietly open up and unravel what’s inside.

From Loneliness to Self-Acceptance

I often find myself alone due to the nature of my work, which requires a lot of solitary time. At first, I struggled with loneliness. I’d be in a beautiful tented camp with stunning surroundings and luxuries, yet I felt so isolated that I couldn’t enjoy the beauty around me. I would see a perfect dawn or an astounding sunset and feel sadness that no one was there to share it with me. Even while enjoying a wonderful meal, I couldn’t fully appreciate it without someone to share the experience with. To escape the feeling of loneliness, I would fill my time with work, movies, or trivial tasks, anything to keep my mind busy and distracted.

Understanding Loneliness

It took me a while to realize that loneliness is a state of mind. It’s not about where you are or who you’re with; it’s about how you perceive your situation. I’ve found myself in crowded places feeling lonelier than if I were alone in my room. Sometimes, this was due to my own choice to shut people out and isolate myself.

Finding Companionship in Solitude

Conversely, I’ve been completely alone and felt like I had the whole world as my companion. I’ve sat at dawn, watching the daybreak, observing little birds gathering twigs for their nests, ants foraging for food, and trees rustling gently in the wind. In these moments, I became part of the natural world around me, and the solitude felt comforting rather than lonely.

The Inner Pilgrimage

Now, when I am alone, I sometimes embark on an inner journey. Instead of just observing the world around me, I take a pilgrimage into myself. This practice of self-reflection has become a fulfilling way to handle solitude without feeling lonely.

Reflecting on Pilgrimage

Living by the coast, surrounded by a community that frequently discusses pilgrimage to Mecca, I’ve often thought about the concept of pilgrimage. People embark on this journey in search of spiritual enlightenment. Although I respect their reasons and cannot fully understand their experiences, I focus on the individual pilgrimage—the journey within oneself.

We can try to escape everything around us, and even run from ourselves for a time, but eventually, we confront ourselves. Instead of running, I recommend taking time to journey inward, confronting who we are and who we might become. We should reflect on our triumphs and accomplishments, remember the joy and laughter, and celebrate ourselves and the sources of our happiness. We must also acknowledge our failures and losses, allowing ourselves to feel and process our pain, and then forgive ourselves. Recognizing both our weaknesses and strengths is crucial.

Completing the Inner Journey

At the end of this inner pilgrimage, we might feel a mix of gratitude, satisfaction, exhaustion, and even euphoria. We will have completed our journey and can move forward, ready for whatever life has in store. Regularly taking this inner pilgrimage can help us become more content, as we accept ourselves and, consequently, make it easier for others to accept us. This practice helps us conquer ourselves and allows us to be alone without feeling lonely.

If you enjoyed this reflection on solitude and inner journeys, be sure to check out my latest video on the same topic over on my YouTube channel, @thandishaven. In the video, I dive deeper into finding solace in solitude and share personal insights and experiences that weren’t included in this post. Don’t miss it!

And if you’re inspired by the beauty of solitude, you might enjoy reading the classic poem “I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud” by William Wordsworth, which you can find at https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/45521/i-wandered-lonely-as-a-cloud

The journey begins

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Discovering Lamu: Discovering myself!

“The only journey is the one within.” – Rainer Maria Rilke

The Arrival of Inspiring Guests

A few years ago, I had the privilege of hosting some incredible guests at Kipungani Explorer in Lamu. They had come to experience the annual Lamu Cultural Festival, bringing with them not just anticipation but also a promise of a brighter future for both Lamu and Kipungani Explorer. Their visit was a testament to the fact that our destination was not only safe but uniquely enchanting—a place waiting to be discovered by all.

Their presence was more than a visit; it was a gift of inspiration that ignited my desire to embark on this journey. My final push came in the form of three men and a young woman. They arrived with the intention to explore, document, and experience, but they also unknowingly imparted a vital lesson. Despite their physical youth, it was their spiritual and experiential vitality that truly resonated.

The Power of Social Media

Upon their arrival, the ritual began—quick snapshots, brief notes, and sharing of moments. As they stepped into Kipungani Explorer, they continued this ritual. Within moments, their experiences were being shared across the globe, reaching as far away as Australia. This simple act of sharing images and updates brought Kipungani Explorer to life for people everywhere, if only for a brief moment. I envisioned someone far from the warmth of Lamu feeling a little warmer just from seeing a beautiful beach.

The reaction was extraordinary. Questions poured in: “Where is this place?” “How can I get there?” “How do I book?” Instantly, Kipungani Explorer, Lamu, and Kenya were being marketed to anyone with internet access, thanks to these mobile advocates. The power of real-time social media was undeniable—sharing, educating, and engaging on a global scale.

A Newfound Passion for Photography

I was captivated and saw firsthand the impact of social media and wanted to be part of it. I had been observing from the sidelines, hesitant to dive in, but this was my opportunity. As a host, my role was to facilitate, not interrogate, so I watched in awe. Each guest had their own agenda and message, and all I needed to do was participate and learn. They were willing teachers in their own right.

Watching them interact with Kipungani Explorer was a revelation. Their cameras, lenses, and perspectives created a harmonious symphony of photography. It was like a well-choreographed dance, despite the fact they had never worked together before. Their passion for their craft was evident, and it made their work seem both purposeful and elegant.

Reconnecting with Lamu

This experience deepened my connection with Lamu and Kipungani Explorer. I found joy in sharing my beloved destination with them, knowing they would appreciate it fully while passing it on for others to enjoy. Their enthusiasm was infectious, and I felt a renewed love for Lamu through their eyes.

Gratitude and Growth

As we shared and celebrated, I found myself falling in love with Lamu all over again. By sharing my “little piece of heaven,” as one of my teachers described it, I received so much more in return. Thank you, my new friends. Meeting and spending time with you has truly made me a better person.

Want to see more? Watch my video about this experience on my YouTube channel, Thandi’s Haven

Again and again and again, I begin……

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“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.”
– Samuel Beckett

So after taking a hiatus for several years, I have decided to restart my inspirational writings again.  It’s not that I stopped writing, quite the contrary, I just stopped posting pieces in my blog, but I have decided to start yet again, continuing a journey I begun as a child, writing that is, and posting online, which I began 2010? One should never give up, and the journey is never over, it changes trajectory, even complete direction, the momentum slows down, almost to a complete stop, but the journey is never over, never.  Even when one passes on, hopefully, they leave a legacy and so the journey continues.  No am not passing on, not right now anyway, am just saying, my journey, my most recent trajectory continues.

So with that, I feel I have grown a great deal as a person.  My angel went off to do her IB diploma and chose to do it in Costa Rica!  I think she wanted to distance herself from me, and I don’t blame her, I did tend to smother her, single child of a single parent and all that.  Her departure did what it was intended to do, besides her academic progress, she learned further how to be independent, and how to live with people from around the world.  She also got a chance to come out of my shadow and my way of doing things and see a different perspective.  She found her voice, and though I am biased, I like it a lot.  She is growing into an amazing young woman and I am very proud.

In her absence, and what an absence it was, I was forced to regroup and reorganize and after 17 years of focusing on her.  August 2018, I was forcibly thrust into a situation where I had to rethink of my existence and my reason for being.  Something I would not have willingly done unless something drastic happened.  Well UWC Costa Rica happened!  And what a happening, firstly it took me holding on to status quo for an additional 8 months, I kept everything intact, even her room, as though she was coming back to that house and that room and nothing had changed.  We lie to ourselves to make the transition easier, at least that is what we say.  Ha! The joke was on me! Everything had changed, she was never coming back to the way things were before August 2018.  Even if she came back, she would be a different person and the way we engaged would be different.  

It took her birthday, 17 years and the first time that I was not physically with her.  To simplify it I felt like shit! Like a failure, like all that I had done, all the education, work experience, all of my life to this point was not good enough to allow me financially or practically to be with my angel on her birthday, that far away.  I called, feeling such guilt at having failed her, only to be shut down with the fact that since she was that far away (9 hours behind away) that her birthday was the next day and I should wait to wish her a happy birthday then.  Needless to say, it went south from there.  When I did try to call her the next day, she was not available, too busy enjoying her birthday with her new friends in her new environment.  Children can be so cruel!

Then it dawned on me! She has moved on and she is well and along her way to becoming everything I wished for her.  Independent and well adjusted!  I was the one who had not made the transition and was still hanging on to her coattails for a sense of belonging.  Not knowing who I was now and which direction I was headed and terrified at a future that looked so different for the past that I was accustomed to.

I needed to find me, to rediscover me and who I want to be today and tomorrow.  Life on my terms now not determined by others.  Life as I would like it to become.  I am taking the time to get to know myself now and making whatever adjustments I need to make in areas I feel are wanting.  Taking responsibility for my happiness, defining myself on my terms! I am excited!

Bad Days!

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“Be in love with your life, every minute of it” Jack Kerouac

 I have really struggled with this piece. All week-long I was waiting for some inspiration, a word or phrase or something to spark enough interest to enable me to write for the week. Nada! Continue reading →

“Joy and pain, sunshine and rain”*

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The key to keeping your balance is knowing when you’ve lost it. Anonymous

I am having real trouble with a particular thought that will not go away even though am unwilling to name it, own it and hence give it life.  When I begun this blog, it was with the mindset to inspire to give positive thought and experiences out to the world. Continue reading →

“Voices of Light”

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Do not go where the path may lead.  Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” – Emerson

It is amazing how music transcends generations, how it is that for music lovers the past, even as far back as 60 years ago can be a lesson on vibrations, rhythm,  and beats; how the past can be utilized as a baseline for creating future sounds.  Recently I had an encounter with some great young men, Kenyan to the core, I fell in love with those guys, I liked their vibe, the way they expressed themselves, the way they were so real! Continue reading →

Boyfriends, memories and the tapestry of life!

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We don’t accomplish anything in this life alone…and whatever happens is the result of the whole tapestry of one’s life and all the weavings of individual threads from one to another that creates something.       -Sandra Day O’Connor

A while ago, I happened upon an old boyfriend, actually my very first boy friend, talk about a blast from the past! Anyway in conversing with him, he reminded me of a ritual we used to have whilst we dated back in the day, and it was way way back trust me! Continue reading →

“Don’t worry be happy” *

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“No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change”.  Barbara De Angelis

What is happiness? “Happiness is a mental or emotional state of well-being characterized by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy.” This is according to Wikipedia.

How many times in life does someone ask you “are you happy?”  Who or what defines your happiness?  Taking a glimpse within, I must admit there was a time in my life when I thought and believed that my partner defined my happiness, he was responsible for ensuring that I was content and experienced that intense joy, after all he loved me right? So he should ensure that the person he loves was happy!

 Back in those dark ages, when I had little enlightenment about this thing happiness and knew less about myself, one of the ways I wanted my partner to signify without a doubt that he loved me was by buying me flowers. I felt that if he loved me and knew how much I liked flowers, then he would surely want to make me happy and buy me flowers.  I waited and waited and waited, for flowers that were not forthcoming, he bought me other things and in his own way showed me he cared, but he did not buy me flowers and I was not complete, I still needed this symbol of his love and I really did like flowers so much, still do.

Many years later I would go out, see a lovely bouquet of flowers and dare to buy them myself.  I would bring them home or to the office, put them in a vase with water and I would love them, they would make me happy! They would give me that intense joy! What a surprise! So it is the flowers that made me happy, who bought them was not important! What an epiphany for me! What power I had returned to myself! This being one example of many, I learned quickly that ultimately, I was responsible for my happiness.  I decided whether I was happy or not, people or things around me could not make that decision for me, unless I gave them the power.

Now I know that though surrounding myself with positive people and attracting positive energy lends in my happiness, yet those around me can only take away my happiness if I let them.  They may try to create misery, and unfortunately in life, many succeed.  However, I have the power to decide how I will allow people to affect me.  I decide who I surround myself with and if they do not make me feel good inside my soul and they don’t add value to my life, then I have to be strong enough to make the decision to sever ties, even though at times it means remaining alone.

Many things make me happy, life, the laughter of a child, the dawning of the day with the warming rays of the sun, the pitter patter of raindrops against my window pane, the light breeze over the ocean as the sun sets and the day draws to a close.  The sound of music (no pun intended, I do like the movie as well), the smell of pastries right out of the oven, the sight of my angel, sleeping, smiling, being pensive or concentrating, my angel period, a great source of happiness for me.  A rainbow in the distance, I still love cut flowers (hint, hint J), a good book, my friends:, their love, support and all the moments we LOL* together! I could go on forever, and for that I am grateful. I have so much that makes me happy,  and thank God that I am enlightened enough and know myself well enough to be able to recognize happiness and differentiate it with that  which has the opposite effect.

The world is full of sadness and misery, every time we look around we see something that just depresses us and makes us feel bad.  But the world also has so much good, beauty and joy. We need it all, it is imperative that we find individual ways to be happy. I believe that happiness will give us hope and make everything else palatable.  If we live with anger, sorrow and despair, then we do not live.   We crush our hopes and diminish our souls, our possibilities to be greater, better, wiser people.  On the contrary,  if we can make the choice to be happy, look for and find that happiness around us, then we can continue to feed our souls with hope and inspiration and be able to take the next positive step into our future!  You have the power make the change, use it, make the decision to be happy!

*Bobby McFerrin 1988