Tag Archives: experiences

Golf musings in Quarantine

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“Keep your sense of humor. There’s enough stress in the rest of your life not to let bad shots ruin a game you’re supposed to enjoy.” – Amy Alcott

I am in quarantine and experiencing cabin fever. Reason being, I have been indoors for an extended amount of time, unable or maybe even too prudent to leave. I don’t miss the social aspects of life, as I am a solitary creature so the quiet and solitude works for me. What I miss is the exercise, the routine, the things that make up my everyday life. I normally try to play a round of golf each morning (my daily exercise). Due to this new situation that has befallen all of us, I am homebound. 

Before the COVID curfew, I had reached a point where my elbows on both arms were complaining. Too much golf, it was time to take a break. With my personality, I probably would not have done it on my own accord. I would have stubbornly, continued playing. Eventually reverting to Deep Heat and other things to ease the pains, instead of just giving my arms and body a break. 

Why is it so important to me? It is a form of exercise that gets me out early in the morning and has me out in nature. That time of the morning the world is just waking up. The dew is still on the grass and it is quiet and everything is fresh and sparkling. The sun is out yet gentle and beginning its steady climb up. Morning, when the suns rays just kiss my skin. As I walk, as I argue with this little ball, about who will get the better of whom? 

I listen to music as I play golf, my choice of music, depending on my mood that morning. Sometimes I take my headphones off and listen to the songs of nature as the world awakes. It is lovely and new, the birdsongs, the sounds of the ocean as it hits the shores. I walk in solitude, listen to the “quiet” of the morning. I have time to look around, admiring the beautiful the course with its well-cut fairways, not very challenging rough, and its beautifully manicured greens. 

The sand bunkers beacon me and I graciously decline, I don’t do well with bunkers. I watch the grounds team as I walk by. They are clearing, cutting busy making the course even better. I watch the sprinklers as they water the fairways to keep them green. So much effort goes to keeping this course in top shape. The club employs many people to man the grounds and ensures that our playing experience maximized.

I fell in love with the game. From the very first day, when I ventured onto the range to “give it a try”, I became besotted with the game. A love affair that has persisted all these years. As time passed, I got better acquainted with golf. The more I played more the more I fell deeply in love with golf. 

The game of golf, I love, though not all the fluff that comes with it. I do not like the 19th hole. Socializing at the club is not my strong point. I have made good friends at the club, but I do not spend much time in the clubhouse etc. 

I do not like the politics associated with golf clubs. There is also a lot of elitism which is not very pleasant. I am not very keen on the way people deal with each other socially at the club. However, because mine is to come into the club, play golf, and leave. I only socialize with people I like and deal with only those that I chose to deal with. I am having a great time of it. Currently, the clubhouse isn’t even open, the only people that frequent the club now are the ones playing golf. 

The thing I love about golf is the individualism of it.   My preference when playing with other people, once the pleasantries are dealt with, is to concentrate on my game. Testing myself, by focusing on every shot. I love to take risky shots, shots that maybe a more prudent golfer (person?) would shy away from. These risky shots are great when they work, and hilariously bad when they don’t. Many serious golfers get annoyed at me when I laugh when my risky shots turn into foibles They tell me I could be a better player if I took the game more seriously. My response? I play golf to have fun!

This was my normal, before COVID before I was locked down in my house. It took a while for the club to decide what to do about us playing golf. With the lockdown and the initial panic and social distancing, it became a bit unclear whether we were welcome to play or not. No matter, I am sure they will find a way for me to continue playing this game I love so much. In the meantime, I just look into my mind’s eye and remember my morning golfing moments and that will keep me going for a while.

We are not there!

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“Wherever you are, make sure you’re there.” — Dan Sullivan

Life is about living! I don’t mean the sort of living that puts us on a mindless path of other peoples’ dreams and expectations of us. I mean feeling, sensing, touching, smelling every minute of every hour of every day.  We need to stop and take stock of what is right here in front of us now.  Appreciate who and what we are now, in the present. Let us not focus on who we were, that’s gone, or who we are going to be, that is yet to come.

Both past and future timelines are valid. One lends to the experiences we have gone through and lessons we have learned.  The other, to the hope of who we can become, and to a better version of ourselves tomorrow.

What about now, who we are now, how we are now, what we are now? When I look at the mirror, who do I see? When I look around me now, what do I witness of life, keeping in mind that it is as much a part of me as I am of it?

As I continue my journey of self-discovery, I am more aware of my surroundings; Less concerned of what others think of me.  The new me is in awe of the beauty I witness all around me; the little flower growing a few feet from me, glistening in the morning sunshine.   The chuckle that comes, watching the Male Agama lizards, in their vibrant hues of blue and orange, chasing after the seemingly unwilling female Agama’s, bedecked in green with red spots glittering like rubies on their backs. One chases, the other runs.   I love how the males are so determined to catch and how the females pretend to resist each time, ducking and weaving away, smaller and more agile.

This is not about lizards, nor about flowers, or maybe it is.   Maybe it is about stopping in these “busy” lives we lead, to just take to take a look around us. To stop and marvel at all the wonderful creations that are within inches of us and how they interact.   Things we look at every day, yet take for granted and never really see. Not because they are not there, but we are not present. we are not there! 

We are rushing from here to there, not accomplishing much.   We need to look like we are busy.  That we look focused and motivated.  All the while caring more about how others percieve us in our “busy”.  Trying desperately to be relevant in the eyes of those who behold us.  Never caring how much this “busy” is costing us. Sad.

What we should be doing is slowing down, oftentimes stopping completely.  This world is moving way too fast.   Seconds, minutes, hours, even days all melded into one. We all know that time is a finite commodity, yet rushing does not make it have more value. On the contrary rushing through life increases the scarcity of time.  We rush past it, too busy to notice, then wonder at the end, where it all went.  Tragically, we wonder what we did with the time we had.  There are few memories to show, when we rush around being busy all the time, and sadly few worthy of  mention.  

It is time to take a moment to stop and look around.   Find something beautiful in what is within us, around us.  This is akin to stopping time or at least freezing it for a moment. Time to collect a memory to etch in our minds, like a picture that never fades.   An interactive 3D image of a moment in our lives. One that we can always reach for , and  bring back to look at again and again.

I can remember when I sat in my balcony, that morning when the Agamas’ were at play and the sun was shining. The wind was rustling through the leaves of the palm trees up above.   I could hear the sounds of the numerous birds and I could even hear the sound of the waves crashing against not so distant the shore.

I watched squirrels at play, saw the plants, flowers and other greenery swaying in the wind. The sun shining, making the dewdrops shimmer on the blades of grass.   What a beautiful morning it was, so full of promise.  This memory my reward for slowing down that morning and watching, listening, paying attention, being present.  My gift for being present etched in my mind forever.   Available for me to reach into and see again, in my melancholy to remind me of that wonderful moment in time.

We plan and we dream and attempt to forecast a future.  This, in my opinion, is a bit unrealistic.   We have no real control of how tomorrow will unravel itself. We can only hope that what we plan comes to be.

Therefore, if I have no control of what tomorrow will bring, then at least let me be sure about today.  Let me be sure about now, be sure about what I am experiencing in this moment.  That way, even if tomorrow does not play out as I had expected, and things to not go do as planned.  Then, at the very least, I have the memories of now.   I have today and can save it in my memory banks, to review to my heart’s content later. I can be present, I can actually say that I lived, I was there!

“Joy and pain, sunshine and rain”*

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The key to keeping your balance is knowing when you’ve lost it. Anonymous

I am having real trouble with a particular thought that will not go away even though am unwilling to name it, own it and hence give it life.  When I begun this blog, it was with the mindset to inspire to give positive thought and experiences out to the world. Continue reading →

Slipping through my fingers

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Slipping through my fingers all the time
Songwriters:ANDERSSON, BENNY GORAN BROR / ULVAEUS, BJOERN K. / KORTNEV, ALEKSEJ ANATOLEVICH

“…………………………………………..
And a sense of guilt I can’t deny
What happened to the wonderful adventures
The places I had planned for us to go
(slipping through my fingers all the time)
Well, some of that we did but most we didn’t
And why I just don’t know
Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
the feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time ………”

Life! What a wonderful, wondrous and fragile thing! When we embrace life and choose to live it as the real thing and not as a dress rehearsal, it indeed can be very fulfilling.  I bet most of us no matter what stresses we have in our lives and whatever hardships we are facing can stop for a moment and think that one thought, invoke that one memory that gladden’s our minds and lightens our hearts! We can always be thankful for something no matter how small and no matter how mundane it may seem to others, for us it is just what we need to keep us going!

Life, why am I talking about life? Because we take it for granted, we take living for granted, working for granted, breathing for granted, we become complacent and don’t make much effort to ensure that we are living quality lifestyles surrounded by people who add value to our lives.  We forget that the future is not guaranteed; that each and every minute lived is gone and cannot be returned to do over.  Each and every human encounter is special and unique in that it will never again happen like that; A burst of laughter from the gut rendering us in stitches, or the tears of sorrow or sadness or pain, once they occur they are unique and never to be replicated.

We allow life to slip by us without giving it a second thought without as much as a sideways glance at what we have let slip by and lost, oblivious to what lessons we should have learned from it and what memories we could have cherished. Why this somber mood? I will tell you, I was watching my Angel Tween the other day at the craft table in our house doing some home work where she was required to make a scrap-book about the classic Great Expectations(Charles Dickens).  Every time I tried to ask to help I was silenced with a reproachful look I stalled in my tracks and my speech.  I experienced a bitter-sweet feeling, bitter because she does not need me anymore like she used to and sweet from pride because she is coming into her own my little person and doing an amazing job at being independent.  I felt a sadness as I left the room looking back and saying “I will be in my room if you need me, just ask okay sweetie?” her reply? An absent-minded “sure mum thanks”.  She had already reverted back to her task and I was more a hindrance than a help.

Life slips by every moment, every day, every week month and year. It slips by whether we like it or not, whether we are present or absent it slips by. Yesterday I thought life would go a certain way, today I look back and see how many wasted moments I had and I am determined not to waste anymore time.  I am living with determination and purpose, without remorse or apologies; I am living every moment because that moment is the very last till the next one.  I am embracing life and all the experiences around me.  I am hugging my Angel Tween when the urge hits me, and making no apologies, luckily I raised her with enough good manners to humor me as I smother her with yet another hug just because.  My friends, don’t waste another moment, with your friends and loved ones, don’t waste any more time with life.  We only have one life, let us live it before it slips through our fingers never to return.