“By leaving your comfort zone behind and taking a leap of faith into something new, you find out who are truly capable of becoming”
Unknown quotes
I have a friend, one who is so vivacious in her speech that when she speaks her words turn into a kaleidoscope of colors and images. She can in a sentence transport you to where she is describing as though you were in a 3-D movie set, watching the movie happening around you. Continue reading
“Only in quiet waters, things mirror themselves undistorted. Only in a quiet mind is adequate perception of the world.” Hans Margolius, quoted in A Toolbox for Humanity
In the process of discussions with friends and general experiences, I have come to the conclusion that you define your life by your perception of it. In other words, I will react to the world in the way that I see the world and my place in it. Continue reading
Don’t ever be afraid of standing out. Fear fitting in because you can get lost in the crowd, but standing alone you always find yourself. Unknown Quotes
There was a game I remember we used to play. We used to call it bladder! It was a game played by a minimum of three girls, two girls hold up the bladder (rubber strip that is flexible and is tied to form a loop) the other girl then tries to jump in and out of the bladder, and each turn she is successful the girls raise the bladder making the next time harder. Continue reading
The key to keeping your balance is knowing when you’ve lost it. Anonymous
I am having real trouble with a particular thought that will not go away even though am unwilling to name it, own it and hence give it life. When I begun this blog, it was with the mindset to inspire to give positive thought and experiences out to the world. Continue reading
Do not go where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” – Emerson
It is amazing how music transcends generations, how it is that for music lovers the past, even as far back as 60 years ago can be a lesson on vibrations, rhythm, and beats; how the past can be utilized as a baseline for creating future sounds. Recently I had an encounter with some great young men, Kenyan to the core, I fell in love with those guys, I liked their vibe, the way they expressed themselves, the way they were so real! Continue reading
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit” Aristotle, Ancient Greek philosopher, Teacher, Doctor 384 BC-322 BC
I was having lunch with a friend recently and we were discussing a very interesting topic, actually it’s more like he was schooling me on a concept that I found really interesting. He had called me earlier that day and he was eating digestive biscuits, he proceeded to tell me that they were his reward to himself. So of course nosy me, I had to know what he was rewarding himself for, I wanted to take the piss out of him, but actually the answer he gave me, really made me think and it made me curious to know more.
Our subsequent lunch time discussion was about this reward system that he used, he explained that this was not his invention but one that was legitimate and supported by a lot of studies. He explained that when we learn something new like driving a car, it initially requires that we invest a lot of our mind into making it happen successfully, we are initially painfully aware of the gears, the indicators, all the mirrors and we are probably unable to even carry on a conversation whilst mastering this car driving thing.
After a while and with practice, it becomes commonplace, a habit. The constant practice has made it so that we can drive that car on automatic pilot, without investing too much of our immediate thinking. We are then able to talk, eat, and listen to music all whilst driving the car. We have “grooved” the habit of driving the car into our “Basal Ganglia”; the part of our brains that is responsible for a variety of functions like voluntary motor control, procedural learning relating to routine behaviors, what we call habits. Grooving, my friend explained, is like how a tract can have a constant flow of water until it is shaped or “grooved into a canal. In the same way habits are grooved into our “Basal Ganglia”. I am feeling so scientific right about now, very pleased with myself and excited about this new thing that I am learning!
Anyway after our very exciting discussion, okay I thought it was exciting! I started thinking about how it is that I can adjust or change bad habits or introduce new habits into my life, and how my friend had mentioned that for a habit to be well “grooved” it needs a reward. Hmmmm! okay so basically the way I understood this was, if I want to say, make exercise a part of my lifestyle, I begin the exercise and give myself a reward each time I actually get out there and do it. I like massages and I can decide that this will be my reward for successfully exercising. After a week of continuous exercising I reward my continuous efforts with a massage. Something that makes me feel good, as a reward for maintaining the exercise. Apparently, because there is a reward attached to my exercising, grooving it becomes easy and it becomes a part of my lifestyle; Success!
So right now am wracking my brain trying to see what bad habits I have, I have many trust me! I wonder how I can modify them with just the right reward to ensure success. I am also thinking about what new behaviors I would like to introduce and “groove” into my Basal Ganglia for my personal advancement and growth. This will take a while, but I have begun on this new path towards personal development using rewards. Sounds so yummy, I am excited! I am buying into and joining “the groove theory” into the Basal Ganglia! Does that not sound like a song or at least a political movement? I am going to pick a bad habit or find a new one and I am going to try this groove theory. I will let you know how I fare. I challenge you to try to chart your own path to personal development!
“And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”
–Abraham Lincoln
Every day I wake up I am grateful, there are many who do not, each time I look at my daughter I am in awe of the blessings bestowed upon me, as there are many who will never know what it’s like to be a parent. As much as I cuss about my job and pay and anything work related, I know I am being a hypocrite, because I should be grateful I have a job to complain about, co-workers to drive me nuts, many many people are not working. Continue reading
We don’t accomplish anything in this life alone…and whatever happens is the result of the whole tapestry of one’s life and all the weavings of individual threads from one to another that creates something. -Sandra Day O’Connor
A while ago, I happened upon an old boyfriend, actually my very first boy friend, talk about a blast from the past! Anyway in conversing with him, he reminded me of a ritual we used to have whilst we dated back in the day, and it was way way back trust me! Continue reading
“No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change”. Barbara De Angelis
What is happiness? “Happiness is a mental or emotional state of well-being characterized by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy.” This is according to Wikipedia.
How many times in life does someone ask you “are you happy?” Who or what defines your happiness? Taking a glimpse within, I must admit there was a time in my life when I thought and believed that my partner defined my happiness, he was responsible for ensuring that I was content and experienced that intense joy, after all he loved me right? So he should ensure that the person he loves was happy!
Back in those dark ages, when I had little enlightenment about this thing happiness and knew less about myself, one of the ways I wanted my partner to signify without a doubt that he loved me was by buying me flowers. I felt that if he loved me and knew how much I liked flowers, then he would surely want to make me happy and buy me flowers. I waited and waited and waited, for flowers that were not forthcoming, he bought me other things and in his own way showed me he cared, but he did not buy me flowers and I was not complete, I still needed this symbol of his love and I really did like flowers so much, still do.
Many years later I would go out, see a lovely bouquet of flowers and dare to buy them myself. I would bring them home or to the office, put them in a vase with water and I would love them, they would make me happy! They would give me that intense joy! What a surprise! So it is the flowers that made me happy, who bought them was not important! What an epiphany for me! What power I had returned to myself! This being one example of many, I learned quickly that ultimately, I was responsible for my happiness. I decided whether I was happy or not, people or things around me could not make that decision for me, unless I gave them the power.
Now I know that though surrounding myself with positive people and attracting positive energy lends in my happiness, yet those around me can only take away my happiness if I let them. They may try to create misery, and unfortunately in life, many succeed. However, I have the power to decide how I will allow people to affect me. I decide who I surround myself with and if they do not make me feel good inside my soul and they don’t add value to my life, then I have to be strong enough to make the decision to sever ties, even though at times it means remaining alone.
Many things make me happy, life, the laughter of a child, the dawning of the day with the warming rays of the sun, the pitter patter of raindrops against my window pane, the light breeze over the ocean as the sun sets and the day draws to a close. The sound of music (no pun intended, I do like the movie as well), the smell of pastries right out of the oven, the sight of my angel, sleeping, smiling, being pensive or concentrating, my angel period, a great source of happiness for me. A rainbow in the distance, I still love cut flowers (hint, hint J), a good book, my friends:, their love, support and all the moments we LOL* together! I could go on forever, and for that I am grateful. I have so much that makes me happy, and thank God that I am enlightened enough and know myself well enough to be able to recognize happiness and differentiate it with that which has the opposite effect.
The world is full of sadness and misery, every time we look around we see something that just depresses us and makes us feel bad. But the world also has so much good, beauty and joy. We need it all, it is imperative that we find individual ways to be happy. I believe that happiness will give us hope and make everything else palatable. If we live with anger, sorrow and despair, then we do not live. We crush our hopes and diminish our souls, our possibilities to be greater, better, wiser people. On the contrary, if we can make the choice to be happy, look for and find that happiness around us, then we can continue to feed our souls with hope and inspiration and be able to take the next positive step into our future! You have the power make the change, use it, make the decision to be happy!
*Bobby McFerrin 1988
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Songwriters:ANDERSSON, BENNY GORAN BROR / ULVAEUS, BJOERN K. / KORTNEV, ALEKSEJ ANATOLEVICH
“…………………………………………..
And a sense of guilt I can’t deny
What happened to the wonderful adventures
The places I had planned for us to go
(slipping through my fingers all the time)
Well, some of that we did but most we didn’t
And why I just don’t know
Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
the feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time ………”
Life! What a wonderful, wondrous and fragile thing! When we embrace life and choose to live it as the real thing and not as a dress rehearsal, it indeed can be very fulfilling. I bet most of us no matter what stresses we have in our lives and whatever hardships we are facing can stop for a moment and think that one thought, invoke that one memory that gladden’s our minds and lightens our hearts! We can always be thankful for something no matter how small and no matter how mundane it may seem to others, for us it is just what we need to keep us going!
Life, why am I talking about life? Because we take it for granted, we take living for granted, working for granted, breathing for granted, we become complacent and don’t make much effort to ensure that we are living quality lifestyles surrounded by people who add value to our lives. We forget that the future is not guaranteed; that each and every minute lived is gone and cannot be returned to do over. Each and every human encounter is special and unique in that it will never again happen like that; A burst of laughter from the gut rendering us in stitches, or the tears of sorrow or sadness or pain, once they occur they are unique and never to be replicated.
We allow life to slip by us without giving it a second thought without as much as a sideways glance at what we have let slip by and lost, oblivious to what lessons we should have learned from it and what memories we could have cherished. Why this somber mood? I will tell you, I was watching my Angel Tween the other day at the craft table in our house doing some home work where she was required to make a scrap-book about the classic Great Expectations(Charles Dickens). Every time I tried to ask to help I was silenced with a reproachful look I stalled in my tracks and my speech. I experienced a bitter-sweet feeling, bitter because she does not need me anymore like she used to and sweet from pride because she is coming into her own my little person and doing an amazing job at being independent. I felt a sadness as I left the room looking back and saying “I will be in my room if you need me, just ask okay sweetie?” her reply? An absent-minded “sure mum thanks”. She had already reverted back to her task and I was more a hindrance than a help.
Life slips by every moment, every day, every week month and year. It slips by whether we like it or not, whether we are present or absent it slips by. Yesterday I thought life would go a certain way, today I look back and see how many wasted moments I had and I am determined not to waste anymore time. I am living with determination and purpose, without remorse or apologies; I am living every moment because that moment is the very last till the next one. I am embracing life and all the experiences around me. I am hugging my Angel Tween when the urge hits me, and making no apologies, luckily I raised her with enough good manners to humor me as I smother her with yet another hug just because. My friends, don’t waste another moment, with your friends and loved ones, don’t waste any more time with life. We only have one life, let us live it before it slips through our fingers never to return.