Self Caddying and Divots!

Posted on June 17, 2020 by wtikua

“It is our collective and individual responsibility… to preserve and tend to the world in which we all live” Dalai Lama

I have started playing golf again. However, due to the COVID situation, many things have changed in my everyday life. My problem is not being solitary, that I am used to. What is driving me crazy and making me lose sleep is lack exercise. I wake up in the middle of the night, mind tired but my body, wide awake.

I like to move, to walk, see landscapes. As I exercise I like to process what is going on around me. Exercise is a necessity for my wellbeing. I need it and regularly too. When in Mombasa I normally walk on the beach early in the morning. It is lovely so serene and quiet. The only company I normally have are fishermen. They are there at the crack of dawn, repairing their fishing apparel or heading quietly to sea on their surfboards or Ngalaus (local fishing boats).

I loved the morning, the sunrise, the freshness of the sand and sea as the day was breaking. That was then, pre-COVID. Now the story is different on the beach. No matter how early I go out to the beach these days, it is packed with young people. These young people congregate in groups, completely ignoring social distancing, exercising and swimming and generally being young people.

They do not interfere with me in my walk per se. Only that I have to constantly bob and weave between and amongst them, on the beach. Gone is my quiet serenity, gone is the silence of daybreak. Now the morning is full of human traffic and the noise that comes with it. Further, there is an increased potential for infection as none of them has masks on, as prescribed by current law.

The young people are taking full advantage of the fact that schools are closed, hence extended holidays. I do not begrudge them of their ability to take advantage of an otherwise impossible situation. I love their zeal and youth and energy so early in the morning. Yet I do feel like they have invaded my beach.

A beach I shared only with the little crabs, and my handful of fishermen. We co-existed in the silence and got on with what brought us to the beach. Me with my mental and physical exercise, the fishermen their livelihood. The COVID situation and the aftermath, ran me off my beach, leaving me and a little lost and unsure.

Still, in need of early morning solitude and exercise, I decided to look for another haven; The golf course and early morning golf. With the COVID situation, this meant playing golf and self-caddying. Admittedly, I was daunted by the idea of self-caddying.

Golfers here, are accustomed to using caddies to carry our bags, clean our clubs, and spot our balls when we hit. These wonderful individuals will further go into the bush to find our balls when necessary. Caddies are further expected to fill our divots on the fairways as we play. They smooth the sand in the bunkers after we have left it looking like a construction zone; 20 tries to get out of the bunker will do that. They show us the line on the green for us to putt. Possibly the most important one, they are also our scapegoats when we make a bad shot “my caddy gave me the wrong club, what is wrong with him/her”

So yes I can play golf, but I have to carry my own bag. I must figure out where my ball goes once I hit it. If it enters a bush, as they sometimes will, I then have to decide whether to go into the bush after it (with the possibility of snakes in there? (Never) or leave it and play a different ball. Playing golf in the time of COVID means I must also carry my bag of sand to fill my divots each time I make them. I must also carry a rake in my bag, to rake the bunker once I am done hacking in the sand.

The upside of this new golf is that I will be all alone. I can have back my serene, quiet morning. A big advantage I realise. How many times have I wanted my caddy to disappear in the course of a game? That is when he is talking too much and giving (unsolicited) advice?

Now I have the opportunity to be completely alone for the 9 or 18 holes of golf. No one to speak to, to check on the flight of my ball ones it leaves my club and so on, you get the drift. Completely on my own, just like I like it right? Well, somewhat, they do say be careful what you wish for!!

I chose to brave it. First thing I had to do was sheepishly ask the caddy master to show me how to place and secure my bag onto the trolley. Due to social distancing, he could only instruct me from a distance. I have never done it so…… Never looked at how the caddy has been doing it, he always put it on so effortlessly. I have though, in the past been irritated with the caddy, wondering what was taking him so long to prepare my golf bag. This impatience was when I would come to play golf, with issues in my head, ill-tempered and impatient.

Now I know it is not that easy, but I will get the hang of it in time. It does take ages to get it on and secured properly. If not secured properly the bag will slide off the cart and onto the ground. This then breaks the flow of my game, and am back at trying to secure it again. So better to do it right the first time. Oh, the lessons I am learning!

The most important lesson I have learned during my self-caddying experience is to never take people for granted. A caddies job does not seem that big of a deal until the caddy is no longer there, suddenly am thinking, we do not pay them nearly enough for all the things they do to make our game experience so seamless!

If we equate divots on the golf course to life and how we live. When playing golf, we tend to hit the ball forward and move. We move with no thought of any divot we created and left on the fairway, for the next player to find their ball in that divot. Mindless about fixing the divot we created, because, its someone else’s responsibility to fill. If we equate the golf course with the earth we live in, then how many divots do we create in our daily lives, whether on purpose or by mistake? How many times are we even aware that we are creating the divots? And when we know we are responsible for the divots, what do we do about it?

Are we aware of the total effect that all the uncovered divots have on the earth in the long run? In golf, if we played, creating divots and not filling them, we would end up with one big divot, no fairways anymore. Now the earth? Is it not the divot effect coming into play? We do not take the time or have the awareness to fill the divots we create. We do not care how they affect our fellow man nor the earth in general.

If we do not understand during this era of COVID when we have time to take stock of our surroundings and our behaviour. Understand the implications of what we have done with the earth, by not correcting our mistakes. Then we will end up with earth so broken we will be unable to fix it, it will be too late. One giant divot instead of a golf course! One wasteland instead of our earth.

So my take on self-caddying. I should be self-caddying in golf as well as in life. Paying attention to my part in the whole thing, aware of my surroundings, and the effects of my footprint on this earth. I should appreciate others around me and the important role they play in easing my way through this world. What divots am I creating on this earth and how do I play my part in ensuring I cover every one of them each time I create them? We should all take this time to review our game of life and what divots we create and how to mitigate or at the very worst, repair them to ensure the sustainability of this earth for our children and their children, for tomorrow.

Golf musings in Quarantine

Posted on June 11, 2020 by wtikua

“Keep your sense of humor. There’s enough stress in the rest of your life not to let bad shots ruin a game you’re supposed to enjoy.” – Amy Alcott

I am in quarantine and experiencing cabin fever. Reason being, I have been indoors for an extended amount of time, unable or maybe even too prudent to leave. I don’t miss the social aspects of life, as I am a solitary creature so the quiet and solitude works for me. What I miss is the exercise, the routine, the things that make up my everyday life. I normally try to play a round of golf each morning (my daily exercise). Due to this new situation that has befallen all of us, I am homebound.

Before the COVID curfew, I had reached a point where my elbows on both arms were complaining. Too much golf, it was time to take a break. With my personality, I probably would not have done it on my own accord. I would have stubbornly, continued playing. Eventually reverting to Deep Heat and other things to ease the pains, instead of just giving my arms and body a break.

Why is it so important to me? It is a form of exercise that gets me out early in the morning and has me out in nature. That time of the morning the world is just waking up. The dew is still on the grass and it is quiet and everything is fresh and sparkling. The sun is out yet gentle and beginning its steady climb up. Morning, when the suns rays just kiss my skin. As I walk, as I argue with this little ball, about who will get the better of whom?

I listen to music as I play golf, my choice of music, depending on my mood that morning. Sometimes I take my headphones off and listen to the songs of nature as the world awakes. It is lovely and new, the birdsongs, the sounds of the ocean as it hits the shores. I walk in solitude, listen to the “quiet” of the morning. I have time to look around, admiring the beautiful the course with its well-cut fairways, not very challenging rough, and its beautifully manicured greens.

The sand bunkers beacon me and I graciously decline, I don’t do well with bunkers. I watch the grounds team as I walk by. They are clearing, cutting busy making the course even better. I watch the sprinklers as they water the fairways to keep them green. So much effort goes to keeping this course in top shape. The club employs many people to man the grounds and ensures that our playing experience maximized.

I fell in love with the game. From the very first day, when I ventured onto the range to “give it a try”, I became besotted with the game. A love affair that has persisted all these years. As time passed, I got better acquainted with golf. The more I played more the more I fell deeply in love with golf.

The game of golf, I love, though not all the fluff that comes with it. I do not like the 19th hole. Socializing at the club is not my strong point. I have made good friends at the club, but I do not spend much time in the clubhouse etc.

I do not like the politics associated with golf clubs. There is also a lot of elitism which is not very pleasant. I am not very keen on the way people deal with each other socially at the club. However, because mine is to come into the club, play golf, and leave. I only socialize with people I like and deal with only those that I chose to deal with. I am having a great time of it. Currently, the clubhouse isn’t even open, the only people that frequent the club now are the ones playing golf.

The thing I love about golf is the individualism of it. My preference when playing with other people, once the pleasantries are dealt with, is to concentrate on my game. Testing myself, by focusing on every shot. I love to take risky shots, shots that maybe a more prudent golfer (person?) would shy away from. These risky shots are great when they work, and hilariously bad when they don’t. Many serious golfers get annoyed at me when I laugh when my risky shots turn into foibles They tell me I could be a better player if I took the game more seriously. My response? I play golf to have fun!

This was my normal, before COVID before I was locked down in my house. It took a while for the club to decide what to do about us playing golf. With the lockdown and the initial panic and social distancing, it became a bit unclear whether we were welcome to play or not. No matter, I am sure they will find a way for me to continue playing this game I love so much. In the meantime, I just look into my mind’s eye and remember my morning golfing moments and that will keep me going for a while.

We are not there!

Posted on June 3, 2020 by wtikua

“Wherever you are, make sure you’re there.” — Dan Sullivan

Life is about living! I don’t mean the sort of living that puts us on a mindless path of other peoples’ dreams and expectations of us. I mean feeling, sensing, touching, smelling every minute of every hour of every day. We need to stop and take stock of what is right here in front of us now. Appreciate who and what we are now, in the present. Let us not focus on who we were, that’s gone, or who we are going to be, that is yet to come.

Both past and future timelines are valid. One lends to the experiences we have gone through and lessons we have learned. The other, to the hope of who we can become, and to a better version of ourselves tomorrow.

What about now, who we are now, how we are now, what we are now? When I look at the mirror, who do I see? When I look around me now, what do I witness of life, keeping in mind that it is as much a part of me as I am of it?

As I continue my journey of self-discovery, I am more aware of my surroundings; Less concerned of what others think of me. The new me is in awe of the beauty I witness all around me; the little flower growing a few feet from me, glistening in the morning sunshine. The chuckle that comes, watching the Male Agama lizards, in their vibrant hues of blue and orange, chasing after the seemingly unwilling female Agama’s, bedecked in green with red spots glittering like rubies on their backs. One chases, the other runs. I love how the males are so determined to catch and how the females pretend to resist each time, ducking and weaving away, smaller and more agile.

This is not about lizards, nor about flowers, or maybe it is. Maybe it is about stopping in these “busy” lives we lead, to just take to take a look around us. To stop and marvel at all the wonderful creations that are within inches of us and how they interact. Things we look at every day, yet take for granted and never really see. Not because they are not there, but we are not present. we are not there!

We are rushing from here to there, not accomplishing much. We need to look like we are busy. That we look focused and motivated. All the while caring more about how others percieve us in our “busy”. Trying desperately to be relevant in the eyes of those who behold us. Never caring how much this “busy” is costing us. Sad.

What we should be doing is slowing down, oftentimes stopping completely. This world is moving way too fast. Seconds, minutes, hours, even days all melded into one. We all know that time is a finite commodity, yet rushing does not make it have more value. On the contrary rushing through life increases the scarcity of time. We rush past it, too busy to notice, then wonder at the end, where it all went. Tragically, we wonder what we did with the time we had. There are few memories to show, when we rush around being busy all the time, and sadly few worthy of mention.

It is time to take a moment to stop and look around. Find something beautiful in what is within us, around us. This is akin to stopping time or at least freezing it for a moment. Time to collect a memory to etch in our minds, like a picture that never fades. An interactive 3D image of a moment in our lives. One that we can always reach for , and bring back to look at again and again.

I can remember when I sat in my balcony, that morning when the Agamas’ were at play and the sun was shining. The wind was rustling through the leaves of the palm trees up above. I could hear the sounds of the numerous birds and I could even hear the sound of the waves crashing against not so distant the shore.

I watched squirrels at play, saw the plants, flowers and other greenery swaying in the wind. The sun shining, making the dewdrops shimmer on the blades of grass. What a beautiful morning it was, so full of promise. This memory my reward for slowing down that morning and watching, listening, paying attention, being present. My gift for being present etched in my mind forever. Available for me to reach into and see again, in my melancholy to remind me of that wonderful moment in time.

We plan and we dream and attempt to forecast a future. This, in my opinion, is a bit unrealistic. We have no real control of how tomorrow will unravel itself. We can only hope that what we plan comes to be.

Therefore, if I have no control of what tomorrow will bring, then at least let me be sure about today. Let me be sure about now, be sure about what I am experiencing in this moment. That way, even if tomorrow does not play out as I had expected, and things to not go do as planned. Then, at the very least, I have the memories of now. I have today and can save it in my memory banks, to review to my heart’s content later. I can be present, I can actually say that I lived, I was there!

Gratitude Series: 1. Attitude

Posted on May 28, 2020 by wtikua

“Gratitude is a currency that we can mint for ourselves, and spend without fear of bankruptcy.” Fred De Witt Van Amburgh

My friend Gillianne has a great way of being optimistic, no matter her situation. Often, when I am about to start a pity party, I remember her saying that we should always have an “attitude of gratitude”. I take a deep breath and change my attitude. Change it to one of gratitude. Gillianne is also the person who taught me to remember always that “it could be far worse”. Thanks, Chica! I am grateful for you!

“Attitude is defined as the posture, action or disposition, the position as indicating an action, feeling or mood.“

Having an attitude of gratitude means, taking the action of being grateful. It begins with the thought ” this could be far worse” and then a review of all that is around, an appreciation for all that is good

Sometimes I have had to go below the surface to reach the good, particularly when I feel overwhelmed by my circumstance. However, by grace, I can always find that which I can be thankful for or about. That which I can focus on with a disposition of gratitude.

During this current world situation, we are all facing, I want to truly embrace this attitude of gratitude. I want it to become a part of who I am of how I deal with the pressures of the world. I would like gratitude to be my way of being, my attitude to life!

When I review the last few years of my life, I have certainly come a long way. I live a more positive hopeful existence than I did before. My outlook on life is one of hope. I am now aware that though I cannot control life itself, I can control my outlook to life. My outlook to the life I have allows me to manage any situation I find myself in. I realize that my life is finite. It is not a dress rehearsal, and I cannot trade it with any other person, now would I want to.

When I look at how blessed my life is, how much I have in this life to be thankful for, I am overwhelmed with gratitude. As time does not stand still nor am I able to turn it back for a redo of my life. It is futile for me to spend any time looking back at what could have been. Looking back with regret. Far better use of my time is to focus on now, with gratitude. For all, I am and have.

I challenge you to do the same, look at your life currently and find one or two things that make you feel truly grateful. Focus on that and somehow even the worst of situations become more palatable. Have an attitude (take action) of gratitude.

Gratitude Series

Posted on May 21, 2020 by wtikua

gratitude: “quality of being thankful”

noun: the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. The word is derived from the Latin word gratus meaning “pleasing, thankful” (Oxford University Press)

In these trying and troubled times, it is very hard to feel thankful or to show any appreciation at all. All we see is how hard things are and what a difficult time we are experiencing. We cannot give in to the negativity we are currently facing. Consequently, we may be better able to forge forward, by taking the following steps;

Stop and take stock of our lives,
Accept that things may be bad right now and, will more than likely get far worse before they get better.
Make a concerted effort, and dig deep inside of ourselves, searching for any positivity we can find
Concentrate on that positivity we find within ourselves and utilise it to re-align our minds
Focus on all the good in our lives, which subsequently allows us to be grateful.

A good focus in these trying times is by showing gratitude. No matter how bad things get, if we take a keen look within ourselves, in an effort of finding something good, we will find it. Something no matter how small, to be thankful for. Focusing on that thing we are thankful for, will allow us to turn our minds from all the negatives, to the positives in our lives.

This should result in us taking a reprieve from wallowing in the negatives in and around our lives. We must be determined to get above our situations. Look critically and recognize all the good happening around us. Making it easier to overcome our current situations, feel better and have the strength to do better.

I am making great efforts to refocus my energies from the current negative situation to more positive endeavours. I have come up with different ways to show gratitude, by doing a series of articles focusing on gratitude.

The different gratitude’s I will be speaking of in these series, are not the only ones available. I would challenge you to come up with some of your own, that resonate at the frequency of your soul.

Walk with me as I go through the different posts in my series. Feel free to comment and add your ideas of other ways we can all express gratitude.

Thriving in these times!

Posted on May 15, 2020 by wtikua

“Sometimes when things are falling apart, they may actually be falling into place.” J. Lynn

I took a walk today on the beach this morning at 6:30 am. I thought that it would be a good time to go for peace and the quiet of the early morn. A time to get in my exercise, while practising social distancing. Surprising, the beach was full of people. There usually are not that many people on the beach that early.

Where was the prescribed l distancing? Not on this beach. They were all going against the current law. I did notice that many of them were young, probably teenagers, in small groups engaged in different activities.

The tapestry of life that II witnessed, included several small groups. One group of young men involved in exercises. The group had assigned leaders showing them what to do with one of them assigned to record and point out the ones doing the exercises incorrectly.

Another group of youngsters were in the water swimming and egging each other on with different challenges. Yet another group were running together on the beach. A final group were tackling a makeshift obstacle course. This group came complete with spectators, some heckling, others encouraging the participants of the course.

All the groups were all enjoying the beach and ocean, completely enthralled in their activities. I noted that there were very few women/ girls on the beach. Including myself, there were no more than 7. In contrast, there were easily 30-40 men and boys on the beach.

The fishermen were there at their usual landing site, engaged in various activities. Some Fishermen were repairing nets under a tree. Some were cleaning their catch at the water’s edge. Another small group were preparing to go to sea in their Ngalaus'(wooden canoes) or on their surfboards. This was just another day for the fishermen, fish to be caught, a livelihood to be sought!

It was a beautiful morning. A gentle breeze from the ocean. A clear blue sky adorned by the early morning sun. So camaraderie on that beach, it made me smile to observe it. Though they were all going against the current rules, their presence created an atmosphere full of laughter and joy!

Observing this, I began to focus on the positives of that morning. I was witnessing people making the most of the negative situation the whole world is in. People choosing to thrive in the strife we were all experiencing, subsequently choosing to get on with life! Finding joy in little things and enjoying the beautiful morning. I pray that they will not get sick. That they can continue to fish for their livelihood. The youngsters can exercise and laugh and enjoy each others company. Do all the things that make living in the now so fulfilling, amidst the current challenges.

I love that the youth can take advantage of their time out of school, to keep fit and be healthy. They seem not to know or possibly not care, that there is a pandemic that has stopped the world. Consequently disrupting the typical flow of their lives. They instead are focusing on living life to the fullest. Making the very best of a bad situation. watching them interact, made me feel good. I love the way they focus on how they feel, living actively, in the present.

People are worried about the current situation. How long it will continue, and what will happen tomorrow. The whole world is at a standstill. It is refreshing then, to witness these young people making the best out an impossible situation. Too busy having fun, to worry or be depressed and sad about the current situation. It might help that they have the luxury not to worry as they have their elders to do that for them.

As much as I am a grown-up and worry is one of my responsibilities. I would rather be like the young people on that beach that morning. Enjoying what I can of the current situation. Actively seeking to look for positives in every situation, hence flourishing, despite all the negatives. It will play out no matter what I feel or want, so I choose to make the best of it. Use this time to grow and live, until it is over and we move beyond it.

There is always a silver lining on every rain cloud. I want to focus on that silver lining. This will enable me to deal with the uncertainty of these times we are living in. Allow me to hope and hold on until tomorrow.

Not saying it is easy, but nothing worth it comes that easily. I am willing to adjust my mindset. I want to be like those young people on the beach. Living life to the fullest regardless of the situation. Seeing all the good in my current situation. Which in turn allows me to feel better about myself. Feel better about the world around me and the plight we all find ourselves in.

Perspective

Posted on May 6, 2020 by wtikua

“One moment the world is as it is. The next, it is something entirely different. something it has never been before.” Anne Rice, Pandora

Sitting in the patio, at home in the coast. I am surrounded by beautiful gardens full of palm trees, tropical flowers and 30 degrees (Celsius) weather. I feel blessed, spending quality time with my Angel, listening to music and loving life. All of this while I work remotely, in this case from the safety of home.

I am settling into quarantine far better than I thought I would. 7 of 14 days of self-quarantine, life has never been so sweet. I am healthy. My angel is here in quarantine with me she is the reason for it. She just returned home from Costa Rica!

Sadly, the world is in crisis right now with the Covid-19 situation affecting most countries in the world. Things are dire in many parts of the world, with people losing loved ones, people fighting for their lives. More people are losing their livelihoods. Businesses are shutting down, and most of the worlds’ economies are in a downward spiral.

Then there is the fear of this virus that is raging through the world. Forcing nation after nation to shut down, no end in sight. Knowing, that too that when we get a handle on the virus, we will feel the repercussions of it for years to come.

What is happening is happening and nothing I can do will stop it or make it go away. I am concerned, yet grateful. Having a roof over my head, food to eat, and a secure job through this ongoing global pandemic is not something I am taking for granted.

I will do my part by staying home during quarantine. When the period will ends, continue to maintain social distance. I will do all that has been prescribed, so as not to infect or get infected.

Let us all be hopeful for a better tomorrow. In the meantime pay attention to what is happening in nature. Look for the silver lining these dark times.

The canals of Venice clearing and returning to blue, fish and other water animals returning,
the pollution levels in China dropping as a result of the overall confinement of people due to the virus.
I am also sure that parks like Maasai Mara will have a reprieve of the constant year-round human traffic.
the time spent in traffic in cities full of smog emitted by the fuels we burn in our cars.
The hours we spend commuting to and from work. Precious hours to spend quality time with families who are home with us now

The world is resetting it seems, and I believe we are getting a second chance to remember what is important; family, quality of life. The environment seems to be better for the break we are giving it. A part of me secretly wants the restrictions to continue a little longer. Selfishly I want even more time with my Angel.

Whilst at home, we give mother earth a chance to recover somewhat. Things may seem dire right now. Depending on the perspective we use to view our current experiences, we can see a lot of good that is coming out of this, not very good situation.

Again and again and again, I begin……

Posted on April 28, 2020 by wtikua

“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.”
– Samuel Beckett

So after taking a hiatus for several years, I have decided to restart my inspirational writings again. It’s not that I stopped writing, quite the contrary, I just stopped posting pieces in my blog, but I have decided to start yet again, continuing a journey I begun as a child, writing that is, and posting online, which I began 2010? One should never give up, and the journey is never over, it changes trajectory, even complete direction, the momentum slows down, almost to a complete stop, but the journey is never over, never. Even when one passes on, hopefully, they leave a legacy and so the journey continues. No am not passing on, not right now anyway, am just saying, my journey, my most recent trajectory continues.

So with that, I feel I have grown a great deal as a person. My angel went off to do her IB diploma and chose to do it in Costa Rica! I think she wanted to distance herself from me, and I don’t blame her, I did tend to smother her, single child of a single parent and all that. Her departure did what it was intended to do, besides her academic progress, she learned further how to be independent, and how to live with people from around the world. She also got a chance to come out of my shadow and my way of doing things and see a different perspective. She found her voice, and though I am biased, I like it a lot. She is growing into an amazing young woman and I am very proud.

In her absence, and what an absence it was, I was forced to regroup and reorganize and after 17 years of focusing on her. August 2018, I was forcibly thrust into a situation where I had to rethink of my existence and my reason for being. Something I would not have willingly done unless something drastic happened. Well UWC Costa Rica happened! And what a happening, firstly it took me holding on to status quo for an additional 8 months, I kept everything intact, even her room, as though she was coming back to that house and that room and nothing had changed. We lie to ourselves to make the transition easier, at least that is what we say. Ha! The joke was on me! Everything had changed, she was never coming back to the way things were before August 2018. Even if she came back, she would be a different person and the way we engaged would be different.

It took her birthday, 17 years and the first time that I was not physically with her. To simplify it I felt like shit! Like a failure, like all that I had done, all the education, work experience, all of my life to this point was not good enough to allow me financially or practically to be with my angel on her birthday, that far away. I called, feeling such guilt at having failed her, only to be shut down with the fact that since she was that far away (9 hours behind away) that her birthday was the next day and I should wait to wish her a happy birthday then. Needless to say, it went south from there. When I did try to call her the next day, she was not available, too busy enjoying her birthday with her new friends in her new environment. Children can be so cruel!

Then it dawned on me! She has moved on and she is well and along her way to becoming everything I wished for her. Independent and well adjusted! I was the one who had not made the transition and was still hanging on to her coattails for a sense of belonging. Not knowing who I was now and which direction I was headed and terrified at a future that looked so different for the past that I was accustomed to.

I needed to find me, to rediscover me and who I want to be today and tomorrow. Life on my terms now not determined by others. Life as I would like it to become. I am taking the time to get to know myself now and making whatever adjustments I need to make in areas I feel are wanting. Taking responsibility for my happiness, defining myself on my terms! I am excited!

Sacrifice!

Posted on April 12, 2015 by wtikua

“Let us sacrifice our today so that our children can have a better tomorrow” A.P.J Abdul Kalam

The season of lent is over and the holy weekend of Easter just behind us. All this brings to my mind the issue of sacrifice. Lent: we are supposed to sacrifice (give up) something we hold dear for a month. According to Dictionary.com we are to “abandon a pleasurable habit as an act of devotion and self-discipline”. Sacrifice is defined by the Free Merriam-Webster dictionary as; “the act of giving up something that you want to keep, especially in order to get or do something else or help someone”. Well, considering Christians beliefs and the act that led to Easter, we see the ultimate sacrifice made by God in giving his son Jesus Christ to die on the Cross in order to save mankind from sin. A selfless act indeed!

What about us? Do we live in a selfless or selfish way? Are we governed in our actions to do for gain or for the good of others? Are we living a life where we are always looking within or do we actually make the sacrifice and give of ourselves so that those “without” can benefit? I believe we should be asking ourselves these questions daily. Why am I doing this? What is my ultimate goal in taking this action? What do I hope to gain, or who do I hope will gain? A lot of questions with probably as many answers as there are people in this world.

As a parent it is my belief that I have a good understanding and experience with sacrifice. In “putting in the woman hours” I have many a time chosen to concede to my Angel, in lieu of personal gratification. I have knowingly made many decisions that suited her because in my opinion, when you make a commitment such as becoming a parent, you should be ready to sacrifice. I mean look at the whole process of childbirth from the perspective of a woman: The pregnancy, you give over your body for the pure benefit of the child forming and growing inside of you, you gain weight, suffer discomfort, pain, you are inconvenienced, and can’t sleep, you sometimes even eat stuff you would not ordinarily eat, all for this being inside of you. For nine months you let it take you where it may. Then when it is time, you suffer more pain than you can handle (thank God you cannot revisit that pain after the fact. I don’t think there would be more than one child born to each woman if that was not the case), your body is extended beyond belief, and all for the safe passage of this amazing little being to enter into this world.

Okay so that is my example of sacrifice, and I don’t believe for a second that sacrifice is only made by women and only by the process of carrying and birthing a child. There are many examples and ways people make sacrifices. Its my opinion though, that when one makes a sacrifice then they are looking ahead, looking at the greater good and not at their own personal needs and wants. Even in business in all the books I have been reading lately, the constant message that to succeed in business you should look to do things that benefit others and you have a better chance of success. All around us is the push to look outwardly at what we can do and who we can help and how we can give of ourselves for the benefit of others. Surely the universe is sending us a message? All the people we honour for greatness ,mostly for their self-sacrifice: Mother Theresa, Mahatma Ghandi, Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, and closer home for me, Wangari Maathai; all great people who looked beyond themselves and gave up personal comforts and pleasures for the greater good, willing to die for what they believed in.

Sacrifice: What are you willing to give up? And for who?

Relax, Relate, Release!

Posted on March 31, 2015 by wtikua

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you” Lewis B. Smedes

How do we manoeuvre through life without holding grudges and without being bitter! So much happens in life and we find ourselves saying, that is so unfair, why is it happening to me, what have I done to deserve this? Continue reading →

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