Category Archives: Life and Inspiration

Shhh…… Quiet!

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“True silence is the rest of the mind and is to the spirit what sleep is to the body, nourishment and refreshment.” – William Penn

The Peaceful Silence

Sometimes, I wake up and it’s quiet. So still and silent. (Not totally though, that would be unnatural, unnerving, probably indicating something is very wrong.) I mean the kind of silence where the only sound you hear is at the periphery of your mind—distant noises that blend into the stillness, gently giving it a natural tranquility.

Silence in the morning, when you’re privileged enough to wake up to the distant sounds of birds, a slight rustle of leaves in the soft, gentle wind. Silence, when the bombardment of daily noises is missing. Noise pollution, which we’ve all become so accustomed to, is momentarily stilled.

The Calm Within

The quiet of the world allows us to reflect, make peace within ourselves, and sort out the clutter in our minds and hearts. But when that quiet is shattered, and we’re bombarded with loud, unnatural sounds, it feels as though our spirits grow weary. The noise invades our senses, leaving little room for coherent thought or peace. That’s when we yearn for more natural sounds—the chirping of birds, the distant laughter of children, the soft breeze, or the gentle waves nudging the shore.

Silence That Signals Danger

There’s another kind of silence—the kind that signals danger. It’s the eerie calm before the storm. I remember living in the Caribbean, where I experienced my first hurricane. The preparation, the frantic stocking of supplies, and the hammering of shutters on windows.

Hurricanes come in three parts: the initial onslaught, the eye, and the final part, which often comes with more fury. The eye of the hurricane was the most unsettling. After the winds and rain came an unnerving silence. No sounds, not even from the animals. It was so unnaturally still, I felt suffocated by it. The air was thick with apprehension. Then, just as quickly as it arrived, the storm returned with more anger and destruction.

Nature’s Power and Our Vulnerability

Experiences like this make you realize just how small we are compared to the power of nature. To witness nature reclaiming everything without compassion is humbling. But surviving it brings immense gratitude.

When I think back to that silence, a silence I never wish to experience again, I appreciate all the other types of quiet—those that bring peace and calm in our chaotic world. The silence in our hearts when all is well, when I feel content, at peace, and walk with a spring in my step, grateful for the gentle side of nature.

 

Like a Moth to a Flame! Mysteries of Attraction and Connection

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“Attraction is beyond our will or ideas sometimes.” — Juliette Binoche

What is the Attraction?

What is the attraction? Is a person is attractive and hence they attract, and then the object of that a attraction is attracted back? Or is it that a person goes innocently along and bumps into someone, and BOOM! Attraction! Or is it a combination of both things?

The First Encounter

When two people first lay eyes on each other, what happens? Do their souls reach out and touch?   Is it the eyes that simultaneously see and mutually like, propelling them towards each other? What about scents and pheromones, that mix in the wind and begin a dance or romance between two? What do they have to do with attraction?

Feeling Like Old Friends

How do two people meet for the first time, and feel they have known each other for a lifetime?  The coincidences that couples realize as they begin to know each others likes and dislikes in sync. Beginning a dance of life as though they were always lifelong partners, yet the relationship is new?

How do hearts, minds, and souls of strangers intermingle as though they are continuing a romance of time past? How do couples sing perfect duets without hesitation or doubt as though they’ve practiced, and have only just met?

The Universal Pull

The world shows many signs of attraction; gravitational pull—a law of the universe we accept as fact. The way a flower leans out and up towards the gentle warming rays of the sun.  How we are pulled towards a colour or sound or image with no real explanation why we are thus drawn.

The way a moth is drawn to a flame, the closer it gets, the more detrimental the effects. Singed wings and sometimes even death. There is a force that pulls us in a certain direction, even when that direction may prove hazardous to us.

Unreciprocated Attraction

How do we reconcile attraction that makes us feel so strongly about a person.  Even one who does not reciprocate our feelings.  Worse still, they once did but dpn’t anymore?  What makes a woman attractive to one or several men, yet to another man, she is not appealing or attractive?

In my own experience, I have had men attracted to me whom I felt nothing for.  I have also been attracted to men, to whom I could have been a lump on a log.

The Fizzling Flame

How is it two people have an attraction for each other, mutual, volatile, and exciting!  Within no time, the flames have waned completely, and the cinders left could not fuel a new fire . What happens then? Maybe this attraction is of the body and not the mind? Lust?  Once that attraction is sated, there is nothing left to hold on to.  In this case, attraction is a means to an end, once the “end” is accomplished, the means (attraction) no longer exists. 

Embracing Attraction

I am probably overthinking this whole thing.   Attraction should be enjoyed or lamented as needed without a whole lot of dissection. I love to be attracted; it makes me feel vibrant and alive!  When it is not reciprocated or the intentions are not the same, it can leave me feeling wretched, like a moth singed by the flames!

I think that we are attractive and attracted beings. We should live life embracing attraction, if it comes our way, till we find a kindred spirit. One who resonates with our souls. Then we hold on and dance until the music stops. If it ends or changes, as attraction inevitably does, we reflect.  We cherish the memories it brought, appreciate the lessons learned, and find gratitude in the opportunity given us.

We sort out our memories and archive them into what to repeat, and what to avoid the next time.   As the Earth rotates on its axis and there is gravitational pull, attraction will always be a part of our lives. It will always return to us, giving us another chance.

The question is: Are we ready and willing for attraction, when it comes back around? Are we ready to embrace it, own it? Always moving towards it like a moth to a flame? Even when it singes our wings. I know I am! Be brave and embrace attraction; it is a part of who we are and what makes life worth living!

Mteja Hataki Kupatikana!(The Subscriber Does Not Want to Be Found!)

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The Need for Change: Finding Your Sanctuary

I was speaking to a staff member where I work, who was tentatively requesting a transfer from one of our properties to another. He was cautious because he didn’t want his request to seem like a negative reflection on his current location. He simply felt he needed a change. “A change is as good as a rest.” How often do you hear that these days?

Escaping the Information Overload

The world is busier than ever. We’re constantly bombarded with more to deal with, think about, and do. Or do we bombard ourselves? The flow of information today is astounding—social media, Facebook, Twitter, and more traditional media like radio and television. Many of us can’t seem to survive a moment without it; it’s everywhere—in our phones, tablets, and computers. This endless stream of information can sometimes lead to overload.

Embracing Blissful Memories

I’m fortunate in my line of work to find myself in places where there’s no network, making the internet and phone service unreliable. There are no TVs or radios either. It’s a rare and refreshing break from constant bombardment. The effort required to get a phone signal—often involving balancing on a tree branch—rarely seems worth it. These moments of disconnection allow my soul to rest.

We all need a “little piece of heaven”—a place to take a break and make a change, even if only for a short while. This place doesn’t have to be physical; it can be a mental escape. Pick a blissful memory, one that makes you feel warm inside and smile like a Cheshire cat. Immerse yourself in that memory and enjoy it. When you return to the everyday world, you’ll find yourself feeling better.

Recognizing Everyday Joy

Look around and take stock of the good in your life. There’s a lot of happiness and light around us, but we might be too busy to notice or have forgotten to recognize it. Make an effort to find and appreciate these moments. You’ll discover that joy has been available all along, even in times of stress.

Simplifying Your Life for Peace

Finally, be mindful of how much of the outside world you absorb and its impact on your psyche. The saying “ignorance is bliss” has some truth here. Simplify your life by focusing on the essentials and avoiding information overload. Embrace the beauty around you and enjoy the peace it offers.


If this resonates with you, and you’re seeking more ways to find peace and sanctuary in a busy world, check out my latest pieces on  https://medium.com/@wtikua  There, I dive deeper into these themes, sharing more personal stories and insights. Don’t forget to follow me for weekly updates on living a more mindful and simplified life!

A Journey Alone: Finding Solace in Solitude

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If you conquer yourself, then you will conquer the world. Paulo Coelho, Aleph

Embracing Solitude

We are born alone, we die alone, and throughout our lives, we will often find ourselves alone. One of life’s great joys is to be alone without feeling lonely. When we’re alone, we have the chance to commune with our souls, to quietly open up and unravel what’s inside.

From Loneliness to Self-Acceptance

I often find myself alone due to the nature of my work, which requires a lot of solitary time. At first, I struggled with loneliness. I’d be in a beautiful tented camp with stunning surroundings and luxuries, yet I felt so isolated that I couldn’t enjoy the beauty around me. I would see a perfect dawn or an astounding sunset and feel sadness that no one was there to share it with me. Even while enjoying a wonderful meal, I couldn’t fully appreciate it without someone to share the experience with. To escape the feeling of loneliness, I would fill my time with work, movies, or trivial tasks, anything to keep my mind busy and distracted.

Understanding Loneliness

It took me a while to realize that loneliness is a state of mind. It’s not about where you are or who you’re with; it’s about how you perceive your situation. I’ve found myself in crowded places feeling lonelier than if I were alone in my room. Sometimes, this was due to my own choice to shut people out and isolate myself.

Finding Companionship in Solitude

Conversely, I’ve been completely alone and felt like I had the whole world as my companion. I’ve sat at dawn, watching the daybreak, observing little birds gathering twigs for their nests, ants foraging for food, and trees rustling gently in the wind. In these moments, I became part of the natural world around me, and the solitude felt comforting rather than lonely.

The Inner Pilgrimage

Now, when I am alone, I sometimes embark on an inner journey. Instead of just observing the world around me, I take a pilgrimage into myself. This practice of self-reflection has become a fulfilling way to handle solitude without feeling lonely.

Reflecting on Pilgrimage

Living by the coast, surrounded by a community that frequently discusses pilgrimage to Mecca, I’ve often thought about the concept of pilgrimage. People embark on this journey in search of spiritual enlightenment. Although I respect their reasons and cannot fully understand their experiences, I focus on the individual pilgrimage—the journey within oneself.

We can try to escape everything around us, and even run from ourselves for a time, but eventually, we confront ourselves. Instead of running, I recommend taking time to journey inward, confronting who we are and who we might become. We should reflect on our triumphs and accomplishments, remember the joy and laughter, and celebrate ourselves and the sources of our happiness. We must also acknowledge our failures and losses, allowing ourselves to feel and process our pain, and then forgive ourselves. Recognizing both our weaknesses and strengths is crucial.

Completing the Inner Journey

At the end of this inner pilgrimage, we might feel a mix of gratitude, satisfaction, exhaustion, and even euphoria. We will have completed our journey and can move forward, ready for whatever life has in store. Regularly taking this inner pilgrimage can help us become more content, as we accept ourselves and, consequently, make it easier for others to accept us. This practice helps us conquer ourselves and allows us to be alone without feeling lonely.

If you enjoyed this reflection on solitude and inner journeys, be sure to check out my latest video on the same topic over on my YouTube channel, @thandishaven. In the video, I dive deeper into finding solace in solitude and share personal insights and experiences that weren’t included in this post. Don’t miss it!

And if you’re inspired by the beauty of solitude, you might enjoy reading the classic poem “I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud” by William Wordsworth, which you can find at https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/45521/i-wandered-lonely-as-a-cloud

Life’s Lessons from Parrot Fish and Pirahnas?

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“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experiences.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

Introduction: The Journey of Life and Lessons

Life is a series of lessons—a journey of experiences, as a wise friend once said. They didn’t label these experiences as good or bad; they simply called them what they are: moments to learn from. The way we handle these situations, both in real-time and in hindsight, shapes us.

A forward-thinking person sees each encounter as an opportunity to learn something valuable for the future. When faced with a similar challenge, they can dip into their past experiences to either sidestep familiar pitfalls or embrace a positive opportunity with confidence.

But how often do we truly reflect on these experiences?  It’s easy to breeze past life’s events without pausing to consider what we’ve learned. Yet, it’s in the quiet moments of reflection where growth happens—where we can separate what we know to just reacting so something unknown.

Identifying Different “Fish”: The Power of Perspective

“Looks like a fish, acts like a fish—it’s a fish!” Seems straightforward, right? Well, not quite.

This type of thinking oversimplifies things, missing the nuances.  Let’s break it down: A Parrotfish and a Goldfish are indeed fish.  But so are a Piranha and a Pufferfish.  The implications of encountering each one, however, are wildly different.  A Parrotfish is vibrant and harmless, a creature to admire, while a Piranha… let’s just say that’s a fish you’d want to steer clear of—fast!  Both are fish, but the experience of meeting one versus the other couldn’t be more distinct.

I believe that the same principle applies in life. We often meet people or face situations that, on the surface, seem similar.  But dig a little deeper, and you’ll notice the differences that matter.  Not every friendly smile means well, and not every obstacle is there to hinder you. Recognizing these subtleties can be the difference between thriving and merely surviving.

Shouldn’t we, then, be more mindful of the types of “fish” we encounter in life? It’s important to recognize their unique traits rather than lumping them into the same category. Let’s stop assuming that if something swims like a fish and looks like a fish, it’s just a fish. Each type of fish deserves its own recognition for what it truly is.

One of life’s biggest challenges is resisting the urge to generalize. It’s easy to categorize people, situations, or even opportunities based on superficial traits or past experiences. However, true wisdom lies in the ability to see things for what they really are, not what they seem to be at first glance.

Applying the Lessons: Distinguishing and Adapting

Reflecting on my personal journey, I’ve managed to distinguish a “fish” from, say, an “elephant”—or even closer, between a “fish” and a “lobster.” Still, I’ve fallen into the trap of generalization from time to time.  Yes, I’ve mistaken a Piranha for a Parrotfish before. Fortunately, I escaped those encounters  with minimal scars, and I believe, in retrospect, I emerged  a little wiser each time.

Learning to identify the Piranhas in life—those people or situations that may cause harm—is crucial. But so is recognizing the Parrotfish, those positive opportunities might be overlooked if we’re too focused on avoiding danger. It’s all about balance, keen observation.

So, what’s the lesson here?

  • Never underestimate anything or anyone: Life has a way of surprising us, and even the smallest interactions can carry weight.
  • Avoid sweeping generalizations: Each experience, person, or opportunity is unique and deserves careful consideration.
  • Draw on your past experiences: Your memory bank is a treasure trove of valuable insights that can guide your future decisions.
  • Stay adaptable in a constantly evolving world: Life is dynamic. The ability to learn and unlearn is key to thriving.

Conclusion: Living Life with Passion and Awareness

Life is short, and we should live it with passion and enthusiasm. But let’s also approach it with caution and respect for others, always eager to bank new experiences for future encounters with Parrotfish—or Piranhas.

It’s the accumulation of these experiences that helps us navigate the complexities of life with grace, resilience, and wisdom. Whether you’re faced with a harmless fish or a lurking predator, remember that every encounter teaches you something—if you’re willing to listen.

Want to see more? Watch my video on the Lamu Cultural Festival on my YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/@thandishaven

Kismet: Reinforcing my Path to Social Media

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“When you are following your true destiny, then the universe will conspire to help you…” – Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

The Inception of My Blogging Journey

I have been thinking about beginning a blog for several years now. I felt that I had something to share and thought that I was ready and brave enough to put it out to the world and have the world react. I spent time talking about it and thinking about it. I downloaded information and software; Copyblogger became my companion, sending me emails every day to help improve my blog. I was not going to begin this without adequate research and knowledge of how to do it properly. And as you know, research takes a lot of time and diligence.

I opened a file in my Outlook and each day I filed away what Copyblogger had sent me, keeping it all until I would have the time to sift through it all and make sense of it, learn, and begin my blog. Of course, I never did open that folder, but I did not terminate the service from Copyblogger because it would mean that I was defeated and was abandoning my blog idea.

The Paralysis of Fear and Procrastination

What do we call this? Fear, procrastination, and whatever label we give it, can be crippling. It is even more dangerous than outrightly saying that something has defeated us, and we are giving up. Why? Well, if we give up and articulate that, it at least gives us a chance to look around at something else we could do, start again in a new direction. But if we hold on to the original idea, paralyzed into inaction because of our fears, yet unwilling to articulate and come to terms with that fear, then we end up frozen, not moving forwards or backwards, just frozen in time. That is more dangerous and debilitating!

Embracing Social Media

I have had a secret fascination for social media for a while. However, I relegated it to the “youth,” a dot com thing, not for us older, more traditional people. We cannot get involved in this stuff, lest we look like teenagers. People will start wondering if we are going through a midlife crisis. Let the kids run around tweeting and Facebooking and wasting time because they would rather not live in present reality and have real human interactions; machines and virtual reality are more interesting to them. Besides, in my line of work, what has social media got to do with it?

One day, a man came up to me at my place of work and told me that he had started a Facebook page for my hotel. He said that he would get it up and running, and then he would hand it to me to administrate. Okay, fine, how hard would that be? Needless to say, when he finally gave it to me to administrate, it was so busy I had to relinquish responsibility to my company’s marketing department to manage it.

The Power of Social Media

People reacted so positively to this Facebook page. They shared information, pictures, and tips on local knowledge, giving other guests pertinent information that a new visitor to a destination would find comforting. It came from another guest’s perspective, not a marketing gimmick—real guests, real experiences. Further, they shared opinions about the facility, services, food, etc. The only difference between this and TripAdvisor is that the people on this Facebook page were fans of the hotel; they loved the place and marketed it for free with a zeal that ten marketing teams could not accomplish. People out there, especially those who had never been to the hotel, used this as a conduit for information. I was amazed and overwhelmed! Social media: how everyone embraced it and relied on it as a source of information and sharing of experiences.

My Transformation

Luckily, my company was more enlightened than I was on social media and its benefits; they embraced it fully. Currently, they have a Facebook page for every one of the properties, each as successful as the next. Guests have found a forum to share information and share their travels and great experiences. Social media marketing at its best!

A New Beginning

So, I am now convinced, and with my very recent encounter with inspiration in Kipungani, where I came face to face with my destiny, I embark on this journey and hope you will come along with me. Enjoy it with me, cry with me, and be still with me, as the mood requires. Life is ever-changing, and we must embrace that change to move forward. This is my journey. Please join me, share with me, teach me. Let us begin a dance, a romance, one so profound that we will be forever changed by knowing each other!

Want to see more? Watch my video on the same topic on my Youtube channel https:youtube.com/@thandishaven

The journey begins

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Discovering Lamu: Discovering myself!

“The only journey is the one within.” – Rainer Maria Rilke

The Arrival of Inspiring Guests

A few years ago, I had the privilege of hosting some incredible guests at Kipungani Explorer in Lamu. They had come to experience the annual Lamu Cultural Festival, bringing with them not just anticipation but also a promise of a brighter future for both Lamu and Kipungani Explorer. Their visit was a testament to the fact that our destination was not only safe but uniquely enchanting—a place waiting to be discovered by all.

Their presence was more than a visit; it was a gift of inspiration that ignited my desire to embark on this journey. My final push came in the form of three men and a young woman. They arrived with the intention to explore, document, and experience, but they also unknowingly imparted a vital lesson. Despite their physical youth, it was their spiritual and experiential vitality that truly resonated.

The Power of Social Media

Upon their arrival, the ritual began—quick snapshots, brief notes, and sharing of moments. As they stepped into Kipungani Explorer, they continued this ritual. Within moments, their experiences were being shared across the globe, reaching as far away as Australia. This simple act of sharing images and updates brought Kipungani Explorer to life for people everywhere, if only for a brief moment. I envisioned someone far from the warmth of Lamu feeling a little warmer just from seeing a beautiful beach.

The reaction was extraordinary. Questions poured in: “Where is this place?” “How can I get there?” “How do I book?” Instantly, Kipungani Explorer, Lamu, and Kenya were being marketed to anyone with internet access, thanks to these mobile advocates. The power of real-time social media was undeniable—sharing, educating, and engaging on a global scale.

A Newfound Passion for Photography

I was captivated and saw firsthand the impact of social media and wanted to be part of it. I had been observing from the sidelines, hesitant to dive in, but this was my opportunity. As a host, my role was to facilitate, not interrogate, so I watched in awe. Each guest had their own agenda and message, and all I needed to do was participate and learn. They were willing teachers in their own right.

Watching them interact with Kipungani Explorer was a revelation. Their cameras, lenses, and perspectives created a harmonious symphony of photography. It was like a well-choreographed dance, despite the fact they had never worked together before. Their passion for their craft was evident, and it made their work seem both purposeful and elegant.

Reconnecting with Lamu

This experience deepened my connection with Lamu and Kipungani Explorer. I found joy in sharing my beloved destination with them, knowing they would appreciate it fully while passing it on for others to enjoy. Their enthusiasm was infectious, and I felt a renewed love for Lamu through their eyes.

Gratitude and Growth

As we shared and celebrated, I found myself falling in love with Lamu all over again. By sharing my “little piece of heaven,” as one of my teachers described it, I received so much more in return. Thank you, my new friends. Meeting and spending time with you has truly made me a better person.

Want to see more? Watch my video about this experience on my YouTube channel, Thandi’s Haven

I Dream in Green!

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“Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today.”  James Dean

I have been watching Caribbean life, a show on HGTV of people in America, choosing to relocate to various islands in the Caribbean. Oh, how that resonates with my soul. I first visited the Caribbean when at University in the USA. My first Island was the Cayman Islands. My love affair with the Caribbean, began when I was little. We had an old Grundig record/radio player at home. My mum would play Soca/Calypso LP’s. I liked the sound of the people, the carefree living described in the songs. 

When I visited, it was like I was stepping into paradise. I later visited the Bahama’s and other Caribbean Islands on a Royal Caribbean cruise. Eventually got married and lived in Antigua, from where I visited other Islands like Barbados’ St. Kitts and Nevis and Dominica. I lived in Antigua for 5 years before returning to Kenya. I have never gotten the Caribbean out of my system. It is in my blood and I yearn for a time I can go back and live there again. 

This yearning lies deep in the recesses of my soul. In this last year, I have a desire to leave Kenya and go somewhere else. Somewhere where I can re-invent myself. Where I can live on my terms and not have to live by the dictates of others. I envision a time when I can wake up when I choose. When I can earn a living, completely location independent. Working when I feel most productive and not when someone says I should be working. My Angel says I should open a little café wherever I end up living. Pastries and baking are one of my passions. That’s not a bad option, I could run an all pastry baking cafe, and also have my time to myself, to live my best life.

All my dreams sound good, feel good, resonate with my soul. Upon reflection, I realize a few things. Currently, I have two homes, one in Nairobi the capital and one in Mombasa at the coast. In Mombasa, my home is the second row from the beach and ocean. It takes me 3 minutes’ to walk to this lovely beach. My job is one of those I can do remotely and lately, I have been doing it from the confines of my home. This is because of the current lockdown due to COVID. I do mostly logistics and management of resources and people. So in many ways, I am living in a tropical paradise and am pretty much location independent as we speak. I am living my dream.

Lessons to take from this? Well, look around at your current situation, recognize and be grateful for what you have already. Be careful not to look so much into the future that you forget to breathe and live now. Everything looks rosy in the future. Because we dream, and we can manipulate our dreams to look how we want, it is easy to focus on that and not appreciate attention to how you are living now. The present can bog you down and seem heavy, uneventful and not at all exciting. It is easy for us to envision fantasies in the future. The future has not yet come to pass. As the saying goes “the grass is always greener on the other side” in this case this side being the present and the other being the future.

We can paint pictures of what the future will look like. We can envision the location we want which is typically different from our current one. Our limited knowledge of where we want to be allows us to paint glamorous existence to the one we are currently living. In this we have not taken day to day living and the typical struggles found in any location, into consideration.

In retrospect, what I envisioned a while back, months ago, years ago and I look critically at the life am currently living, has come to pas. I wanted it then,worked hard to make it happen and am living that ideal I had in the past. I now want different and feel disatisfied. It is too easy to take life for granted and not stop to appreciate all that is here now. Living in the future is easy, because we can envision living our dreams.

Dreams are not bad, in fact they are necessary, they give us the incentive to strive forward. However, it is just as important to stop and be thankful for what we have. We should stop and recognize that what we are living now was a dream in the past that has come to be our reality. The present is here now, we should appreciate the hardwork it took to get us hear. Pat yourself on the back, you are here in your future, which is now your present. If it is not exactly what we envisioned,then we should work to adjust it accordingly. We should be grateful for it and use it as a springboard to our next set of dreams and aspirations. Remembering always that our situations, could be far worse.

We should be grateful for each and everything around us, good or bad. Grateful because it is either what gives us joy now or teaches us lessons that will be very useful for us tomorrow. Dreaming is good as it allows us to chart our paths for our visions, but we should be careful not to get so caught up in our dreams that we forget to live now. 

The New Normal!

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“The world is on a bumpy journey to a new destination and the new normal” Mohammed El Erian

I was having a conversation with a friend the other day. We were lamenting about our current plight (lockdown due to COVID,) and reminiscing about the way life used to be prior. When we had the “freedom to move around as we wished.

Then it occurred to me that I am not sure for many life was better, before COVID. For instance, my friend (I will call him John-not his real name), is a self-employed lawyer. His daily life entailed waking up at the crack of dawn. Hurriedly leaving the house in an effort to beat traffic on his way to work each day. Getting caught up in traffic anyway, and ending up sitting in that traffic, for at least1 to 2 hours. Many commuters had the same idea as John.

When he would eventually get to work, invariably his clients would show up late, even as much as an hour. The excuse? “Salaaala!, the traffic is so bad today!” This adjustment in time for the first meeting would have a snowball effect on all subsequent meetings, creating havoc on his schedule. 

Once the meetings began, John would be going from one meeting to the next. The rushed schedule meant that he barely had enough time to grab a decent meal (if you can call a meal on the go, decent). Frequently, after meetings, John would have to put in time in administrative time in his office. Often unable or unwilling to leave the office before 8 pm. 

John would leave town at the end of the day, hungry, and exhausted, only to find himself stuck in traffic again. This evening/night traffic was as a result of people like him, opting or forced to stay late in the office. They all had the same idea, leave later and avoid the rush hour traffic. After sitting in traffic for at least another hour or more, John would get home, beaten and beat down. His only recourse was to grab a bite and stumble into a bed, “looking forward” to the same again the next day.

Exciting right? This is what COVID has taken from many of us. How can we miss this hectic life that many of us saw as a normal life? Normal because it is how we have been conditioned. Not a healthy life and not sustainable in the long term. It is not surprising that stress and lifestyle diseases are on an upsurge in the world. 

With COVID forcing many of us to stay home as our new “normal”, I asked John how his work situation has been affected? His answer? As his movements are now restricted, and he is unable to go into work each day, John has had to adjust his life accordingly. All his face to face meetings have been replaced by online meetings (Zoom or Skype etc. ). He has also discovered that a lot of the “busy work” he was doing daily seems to have reduced.

His routine had changed significantly due to COVID. With the new lockdown, John wakes up daily and plans his meetings. He does have the allowance to go to work a few days a week but often opts not to. Embracing working online, including phone or internet meetings, he has discovered it is not necessary for him to leave his home as often as he used to.  

John does not wake up as early as before. When he does wake up early, he can use that time for his own leisure and in the comfort of his home. Not rushing and stuck in traffic. He now can take time to eat a proper breakfast before his workday begins. In lockdown, John can eat proper stress-free breakfast before his workday begins at 9 am.  John’s meals now are freshly cooked and healthier. A better option than the store-bought fast food that sustained him for years, due to little time and less choice, whilst in the “rat race”. John’s answer was encouraging giving hope for a better future

Meetings now seem to take less time. Clients seem to wast less time online with John and not face to face. There are also less distractions. With all the pro’s of lock down for John’s lifestyle, the most useful one is the time he saves with no cummute. He is able save as much as 2 to 4 hours each day which he can use to be more productive with work.

By 5/6 pm John can complete his workday. He is not too tired at the end of the day, and even has time and energy to exercise. Somthing he only did on the weekends, pre-COVID. John finds that he is not spend as much money and his stress levels have reduced. All in all, he was achieving a better work-life balance, a more sustainable way to live. 

Currently, John goes into the office when he absolutely must. Due to the lockdown, there is less traffic, and he can make it to the office or back home in 20 minutes. The online component of his work means that he does not go into the office often. Only when he must and for the shortest time possible. There is still his health to consider and increased exposure creates a higher possibility of infection.

Looking at life from the perspective of John’s new “normal” is it not better that we are restricted? Though not wished for, the “lockdown situation” has forced many of us to re-evaluate our lives. What the pros and cons of the old life versus this new one? Will it be possible to see a future after COVID and lockdown? A future where we make different decisions about how we value ourselves and our time? 

Time is a finite commodity and yet we spend at least half in pursuit of a “better” life. What is the point of that “better” life. This pursuit often leads to detririorating well being and increased stress. Increasing our chance of lifestyle diseases. We are at breaking point and until COVID could not see an alternative way. We were unable to see the forest for the trees?

What if we decided to value our time more? Pursue professional careers, yet, do it in a way that is not detrimental to our overall health and wellbeing. What if we reduce the time we spend commuting or even in physical offices? We only go to work when we absolutely must? What if we gave as much attention to our sleep, relaxation, eating as we do our pursuit for more wealth? What if we strived for a better work-life balance?

COVID has forced us all to stop and evaluate ourselves and the way we have been living. COVID lockdown has forced us to have an improved lifestyle. More time at home, less commute time, more controlled spending to name a few. Eating wholesome fresh home cooking. More time to relax. More time with our loved ones. Surely this is better for us in the long run? 

I am not saying we should stay locked down indefinitely. I am suggesting that we review critically all the positives in our current situations. Compare them objectively to the lives we lived before. Learn from this forced situation and pick a new “normal”. A new “normal” that will enhance our lifestyles in the future. After this, we don ‘t want to just live to work. We can work and we can live. We can manage both in balance, allowing us a healthier more balanced lifestyle. 

When I grow Up

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When we are children we seldom think of the future. This innocence leaves us free to enjoy ourselves as few adults can. The day we fret about the future is the day we leave our childhood behind. Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind 

As I continue on this journey called life, I am getting used to being an empty nester. I review my life regularly and I’m grateful that I can look back and remember a lot of my childhood. In addition to looking back, I also look forward with hope and expectation. Asking myself how to reinvent me, to grow and learn, to become. Difficult though it may be, I find the process a great adventure. The next adventure of my life and there have been many!

I love that I am in that position where I can ask myself, what and who I want to be. I am not so arrogant as to think I have reached the pinnacle, far from it. There are times when I am am overwhelmed. When I am thinking about all the things that I have not done and might still want to do. Time moves so quickly, I hope there is enough. When I feel panicked about time, I review all I have accomplished and experienced through the years. This helps me maintain balance. Reminds me that though I still have many things I want to do. I have thus far lived a fulfilling life. A life full of activity and adventure, giving me balance.

What do I want to be when I grow up?

I remember when playing as a child and being really happy. Laughing a lot, playing outdoors, climing trees, sneaking to the river. Living in complete childlike abandon. My playmates and I particularly like climbing fruit trees as they had the added incentive of the fruit that we could eat. There was this particular guava tree when in fruit had the biggest juiciest sweetest guavas. I remember sitting on its smooth branches for hours gorging myself with guava fruit. How simple life was then.

We had such fantastical dreams and imagination. I recall wanting to be a cowboy. Must have read about it somewhere as we did not have television. We believed that to be a cowboy, you had to ride a cow. Once, my playmates convinced me (it did not take much) to jump off of the tree branch I was sitting on, onto a cow grazing below. This would make me a bonafide cowboy! I did jump down onto the cow, it did not go as expected. Well, let’s say I am still alive to tell the tale.

Recently I called a childhood friend of mine Watene, to ask him if he remembers what we used to talk about becoming when we grew up. I have known this guy since I was eight and we spent a lot of time together both at boarding school and at home in the holidays (our parents were friends). He laughed, at my odd question, yet one that he probably had thought of himself. How often do we look at our lives and wonder if we had made one different decision, what our lives would be now? Anyway, he was not much help, or maybe what he said was liberating.

As we spoke through the memories of our times as children, we both discovered that we were way too busy being kids to bother ourselves with what we were going to be when we grew up, which was aeons away. It was hard work just trying to think about what we were going to eat for our next meal. Too much thought into the future would have gotten in the way, the thinking was definitely optional. It would have ruined the ability for us to play, laugh and generally enjoy ourselves and living responsibility-free life, as children often do, or should. 

Lucky children that we were, we bothered with the more important things, like having fun! We enjoyed ourselves no matter what we did or where we were. It did not matter that we were not extraordinarily beautiful or had good figures. We cared nothing for wealth, or that we had not travelled the world. In our minds, we had circumnavigated the entire galaxy several times over.

In retrospect, I realize how wonderful it was to be so carefree. Carefree enough to only worry about enjoying the moment. Now I should use the wisdom gained from experience and an awesome childhood. Make a great effort in living now, loving now, laughing now and not worrying too much about things that are beyond my control. What has been has been, and what will be will be. I don’t have the power to change it.

I do however have the power to choose how to live now. Choose to love with abandon and not care it’s reciprocated. Laugh now until tears stream down my cheeks. Laugh until my belly hurts. Think, feel, do, so that twenty years from now, I can look back and smile from my soul. Smile, knowing that I of lived my life to the fullest.