Author Archives: wtikua

The journey begins

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Discovering Lamu: Discovering myself!

“The only journey is the one within.” – Rainer Maria Rilke

The Arrival of Inspiring Guests

A few years ago, I had the privilege of hosting some incredible guests at Kipungani Explorer in Lamu. They had come to experience the annual Lamu Cultural Festival, bringing with them not just anticipation but also a promise of a brighter future for both Lamu and Kipungani Explorer. Their visit was a testament to the fact that our destination was not only safe but uniquely enchanting—a place waiting to be discovered by all.

Their presence was more than a visit; it was a gift of inspiration that ignited my desire to embark on this journey. My final push came in the form of three men and a young woman. They arrived with the intention to explore, document, and experience, but they also unknowingly imparted a vital lesson. Despite their physical youth, it was their spiritual and experiential vitality that truly resonated.

The Power of Social Media

Upon their arrival, the ritual began—quick snapshots, brief notes, and sharing of moments. As they stepped into Kipungani Explorer, they continued this ritual. Within moments, their experiences were being shared across the globe, reaching as far away as Australia. This simple act of sharing images and updates brought Kipungani Explorer to life for people everywhere, if only for a brief moment. I envisioned someone far from the warmth of Lamu feeling a little warmer just from seeing a beautiful beach.

The reaction was extraordinary. Questions poured in: “Where is this place?” “How can I get there?” “How do I book?” Instantly, Kipungani Explorer, Lamu, and Kenya were being marketed to anyone with internet access, thanks to these mobile advocates. The power of real-time social media was undeniable—sharing, educating, and engaging on a global scale.

A Newfound Passion for Photography

I was captivated and saw firsthand the impact of social media and wanted to be part of it. I had been observing from the sidelines, hesitant to dive in, but this was my opportunity. As a host, my role was to facilitate, not interrogate, so I watched in awe. Each guest had their own agenda and message, and all I needed to do was participate and learn. They were willing teachers in their own right.

Watching them interact with Kipungani Explorer was a revelation. Their cameras, lenses, and perspectives created a harmonious symphony of photography. It was like a well-choreographed dance, despite the fact they had never worked together before. Their passion for their craft was evident, and it made their work seem both purposeful and elegant.

Reconnecting with Lamu

This experience deepened my connection with Lamu and Kipungani Explorer. I found joy in sharing my beloved destination with them, knowing they would appreciate it fully while passing it on for others to enjoy. Their enthusiasm was infectious, and I felt a renewed love for Lamu through their eyes.

Gratitude and Growth

As we shared and celebrated, I found myself falling in love with Lamu all over again. By sharing my “little piece of heaven,” as one of my teachers described it, I received so much more in return. Thank you, my new friends. Meeting and spending time with you has truly made me a better person.

Want to see more? Watch my video about this experience on my YouTube channel, Thandi’s Haven

Intermittently Yours…..!

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I was moving along well with the liquid diet. I was comfortable with it, and my body has gotten used to it. Then I decided that this intermittent craze that was going around sounded good and I was going to try it in addition to what I was already doing. All to lose more weight, rapidly yet, safely.

I did my research about intermittent fasting. This fasting meant avoiding solid food for at least 16-18 hours, within a 24hour period. It also did not allow any high calory liquids. Therefore, no juice or tea/coffee with sugar etc. In my case, that would mean that I had to have my last meal by 7 pm and would not be able to eat again until midday the next day. My eating window would be 12noon to 7 pm each day. 

Within this fast, I was still able to drink water, with lemon, coffee with no sugar or milk unless low-fat milk. I did drink coffee with whole milk. However, since I am not a fan of milk, it was very little and probably made very little difference. 

I was already on all fluids, though my fluids did contain calories. All in all, I was ingesting approximately 700 calories a day. To do the intermittent fast, I tweaked my diet by moving my smoothie intake to midday. I would then have my soup about 4 hours later. If still hungry I would have another bowl of soup before 7 pm. 

Again my existing diet made adding intermittent fasting easier. I would ordinarily have my evening soup between 6 and 7 pm so not much of a change. And because the smoothie was quite heavy, I discovered that I could not have that and two sets of soups each day. 

With the new diet, I would begin the day with a glass of fresh ginger and lemon tea. Later, I would have a cup of coffee with milk, no sugar. I could afford it in my diet because with the fasting I reduced my eating twice a day. I also drank water with a slice of lemon (for taste). At noon I would have my smoothie. In the early evening, before 7 pm I would have my soup. 

The liquid diet allowed me to transition into the intermittent diet quite easily. My stomach had already shrunk decreasing the difficulty of adding the intermittent fasting to my weight loss program. A year later, I am still doing intermittent fasting. I begin my food day at 12noon. Before that, I drink water with lemon, or ginger tea, if inclined. 

I have been doing it for so long that I find it hard to ingest solid food before midday now. I still eat dinner at 6 pm and stop eating at 7 pm every night. 

My initial weight loss goal was to approach my target weight (determined by your height and other parameters- if you go to a website like Calculator.net, you can find that and other metrics). Or at the very least, drop down to a US size 12and I was determined. Starting from a size 16/18 this was no easy feat for me, particularly considering how many times I had tried and failed before. 

I have to admit the biggest fear in my mind about my diet was to stop the liquid diet and gain all the weight back. I had seen many people go through this. Begin a diet, begin to show positive signs of weight loss. Persevere through all the hardships of dieting, only to gain all the weight back once the diet stopped. 

Due to this fear, I stuck long to the liquid diet than I was supposed to. I also spent a lot of time reading, learning and understanding my body vis a vis food. Understanding my food habits, the prevailing food cultures. What was trending and why in terms of weight loss. Success and failure of weight loss. I also spent a lot of time researching different dieting options. Looking for alternative diets, better diets I could tack onto mine to make for increased weight loss. I was obsessed.

The first month ended with me still on a liquid diet and now on intermittent fasting. I made my diet, a mishmash of all I was learning. This meant that I could easily change, amend or even overhaul it month to month. I began planning my diet for the next month. Wanting to continue the same yet change it a bit so my weight loss did not plateau as my body adjusted to my new “normal”. 

I spent a lot of time looking up different soup recipes to ensure that had a variety of yummy soups to choose from. Changing up my smoothie recipe, whilst still maintaining the core ingredients in each smoothie. I shared some of these recipes in https://lifestyle.i-solf.com/thandis-smoothie-recipes/. Every day I journaled from the first day of my diet. I wrote down what I ate each day, how I felt, what I struggled with. It is from these notes in my journal that I can do this blog. 

At the end of my first month, as I reviewed each day what ate, some of the challenges I faced and how I overcame them. I realised something interesting, though not done deliberately, I realised that I had not any pure start single starch in a month. Though I had successfully managed not to eat any pure starch for a whole month, I still had a lot of energy. Albeit I could not have had the energy to run a marathon, but I functioned well each day of my new diet. 

So to recap, I began the weight loss journey, starting with a liquid-only diet. I started the intermittent fasting, intermingled with the liquid-only diet. I read a lot about intermittent fasting and watched as friends of mine tried it and failed.  Primarily I believe they failed because they saw the eating window as permission to eat whatever they wanted, and in whatever quantities. Often the wrong food and wrong quantities for dieting. 

Many of my friends were eating more, within the short eating window, with intermittent fasting than when they maintained their regular eating habits. I saw this a great addition to my diet and successfully added it to my diet. intermittent fasting so much that I still practice it now, a year later. 

This whole weight loss process has taught me a great deal. Following my diet with discipline has helped me lose weight. Subsequently, all the knowledge has helped me change my attitude and relationship with food.

With the new knowledge, I understood a lot more about what my body needed. I got over the cravings, which were a result of my mind trying to reset back to known habitual behaviour. Listening to my body each time I ate and following the cues. I knew when I was hungry and when full. I was able to understand the importance of self-discipline in a world where we are all too indulgent.

I Dream in Green!

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“Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today.”  James Dean

I have been watching Caribbean life, a show on HGTV of people in America, choosing to relocate to various islands in the Caribbean. Oh, how that resonates with my soul. I first visited the Caribbean when at University in the USA. My first Island was the Cayman Islands. My love affair with the Caribbean, began when I was little. We had an old Grundig record/radio player at home. My mum would play Soca/Calypso LP’s. I liked the sound of the people, the carefree living described in the songs. 

When I visited, it was like I was stepping into paradise. I later visited the Bahama’s and other Caribbean Islands on a Royal Caribbean cruise. Eventually got married and lived in Antigua, from where I visited other Islands like Barbados’ St. Kitts and Nevis and Dominica. I lived in Antigua for 5 years before returning to Kenya. I have never gotten the Caribbean out of my system. It is in my blood and I yearn for a time I can go back and live there again. 

This yearning lies deep in the recesses of my soul. In this last year, I have a desire to leave Kenya and go somewhere else. Somewhere where I can re-invent myself. Where I can live on my terms and not have to live by the dictates of others. I envision a time when I can wake up when I choose. When I can earn a living, completely location independent. Working when I feel most productive and not when someone says I should be working. My Angel says I should open a little café wherever I end up living. Pastries and baking are one of my passions. That’s not a bad option, I could run an all pastry baking cafe, and also have my time to myself, to live my best life.

All my dreams sound good, feel good, resonate with my soul. Upon reflection, I realize a few things. Currently, I have two homes, one in Nairobi the capital and one in Mombasa at the coast. In Mombasa, my home is the second row from the beach and ocean. It takes me 3 minutes’ to walk to this lovely beach. My job is one of those I can do remotely and lately, I have been doing it from the confines of my home. This is because of the current lockdown due to COVID. I do mostly logistics and management of resources and people. So in many ways, I am living in a tropical paradise and am pretty much location independent as we speak. I am living my dream.

Lessons to take from this? Well, look around at your current situation, recognize and be grateful for what you have already. Be careful not to look so much into the future that you forget to breathe and live now. Everything looks rosy in the future. Because we dream, and we can manipulate our dreams to look how we want, it is easy to focus on that and not appreciate attention to how you are living now. The present can bog you down and seem heavy, uneventful and not at all exciting. It is easy for us to envision fantasies in the future. The future has not yet come to pass. As the saying goes “the grass is always greener on the other side” in this case this side being the present and the other being the future.

We can paint pictures of what the future will look like. We can envision the location we want which is typically different from our current one. Our limited knowledge of where we want to be allows us to paint glamorous existence to the one we are currently living. In this we have not taken day to day living and the typical struggles found in any location, into consideration.

In retrospect, what I envisioned a while back, months ago, years ago and I look critically at the life am currently living, has come to pas. I wanted it then,worked hard to make it happen and am living that ideal I had in the past. I now want different and feel disatisfied. It is too easy to take life for granted and not stop to appreciate all that is here now. Living in the future is easy, because we can envision living our dreams.

Dreams are not bad, in fact they are necessary, they give us the incentive to strive forward. However, it is just as important to stop and be thankful for what we have. We should stop and recognize that what we are living now was a dream in the past that has come to be our reality. The present is here now, we should appreciate the hardwork it took to get us hear. Pat yourself on the back, you are here in your future, which is now your present. If it is not exactly what we envisioned,then we should work to adjust it accordingly. We should be grateful for it and use it as a springboard to our next set of dreams and aspirations. Remembering always that our situations, could be far worse.

We should be grateful for each and everything around us, good or bad. Grateful because it is either what gives us joy now or teaches us lessons that will be very useful for us tomorrow. Dreaming is good as it allows us to chart our paths for our visions, but we should be careful not to get so caught up in our dreams that we forget to live now. 

My “Situationship” with Food!

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In my diet journey, I have discovered a tremendous amount. In my journey, I have enjoyed researching about food. My research was focused on learning about what is healthy for me to eat, and what is not. When to eat, and what to eat for better health and wellbeing. In my journey, I have been able to delve into my relationship with food and eating. In this process, I was able to analyze my past relationship with food. Once analyzed, I could adjust it with my newfound knowledge, for a healthier lifestyle going forward. 

The process has been good and bad, and everything in between. The biggest challenge being the process of objectively accessing my past relationship with food. In my determination to change, I found myself devouring any information I could about diet and weight loss. Watched videos, read magazines and books. Any information medium I could get my hands on, giving me more information about healthy and unhealthy eating. 

In my initial research, I focused on particular foods. I was curious about plant-based foods, especially the starchy ones. My initial diet did not lend to a diet that included starchy food. Regardless, I knew it would. As I moved to my new diet maintenance and lifestyle plan, I would want to re-introduce starches back. To reintroduce starches healthily into my new lifestyle, I needed more information about them. Allowing me to make an informed decision whether include them or remove them entirely. 

My research on these items included understanding their pros and cons in the human body. For example, in the case of Sweet Potato, which I initially discarded in my diet as it is a starch. I like sweet potatoes and was hoping to be able to include them in my future lifestyle diet. However, I needed to know more about sweet potatoes and weigh them amongst other starches. The plan was that once I had the information about them, I could easily decide how to eat them. Introducem them back as a regular food item if they qualified. Alternatively based on information gathered, I could opt to eat them occasionally if they did not qualify. Finally, If I found the information adverse, I could opt to remove them from my diet entirely.

The result of that mini-research was that could keep them in my diet (to be introduced later). My research included reviewing sweet potatoes vis a vis its total starch and sugar content, in comparison to other starches. I also reviewed any additional health benefits to the body. 

The final result on Sweet potatoes? They had no place in my diet during the actual dieting period (no pure starch). Happily, I looked forward to when I could reintroduce them back my lifestyle plan in limited amounts. Its redeeming qualities included: https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/sweet-potato-benefits

It is important to note that a lot of the food that I eliminated from my initial diet, was not necessarily bad.  This includes plant-based foods like potatoes, cassava, sweet potatoes even arrowroot. There was just no room for them in my no pure starch diet. I intended to re-introduce them into the maintenance of my new lifestyle diet gradually.

I must admit that am not typically a big “starch” person, craving potatoes or pasta or bread. Therefore, choosing to remove pure starch from my diet, was not a big loss for me. For someone else, who loves starch, this may prove difficult. How badly do you want the weight loss?

Keep in mind the diet is not forever , it is for a duration. Eventually you will be able to re-introduce the starch back in controlled amounts, once you accomplish your goals. Make your decision in a way that is in line with your weight loss and/or weight management goals.

I have discovered that a lot of what people consider “I must eat this or die, or I can’t live without this” is not true. This is typically habit generated in our upbringing. The body does not discern the individual food, just the nutrients it receives. The brain, however, keeps a food memory. It knows what nutrients can be derived easily from what foods. When my body requires iron, the brain will remember that it can be found in Chocolate. Hence the craving for chocolate, every time the body has an iron deficit. 

To circumvent this and stay true to my diet, I know that iron is found in healthier food such as Spinach and other green vegetables. During my diet when the cravings hit, I would choose to eat Spinach instead of chocolate. Consumption with the spinach would dispel the cravings in a healthier way.

The challenge is to convince the mind, and quell the desire to eat chocolate. Granted that spinach can never take the place of chocolate in terms of taste. I mean come on, dark chocolate 70% with nuts or dried fruit infused? Never! However Spinach is a healthier alternative, and it fit in well with my overall fitness plan. Therefore, sadly, chocolate out and Spinach in!

Currently, my determination to reduce weight supersedes my need for the taste of chocolate. Bearing in mind that I need the iron in my body, but not the fats and sugar in chocolate. Spinach has so many other beneficial nutrients and roughage besides iron. I say no to chocolate and eat the spinach for iron and stay true to my diet 

Understanding food and the nutrients you get from the items in your diet gives you power. Power to manage these cravings without deviating from my weight loss goals. There will be a time in the future, to indulge my love for chocolate, and other such food vices. albeit in more controlled amounts.

Our bodies communicate needs all the time. What we consider baseless cravings, is a message. Our body is telling us that we are deficient of certain nutrients and need to replenish. The craving for “not so good for us food” is a result of the information the brain has stored of the nutrients that food item can give us. We can control how we satisfy those cravings. Give the body what it needs and not compromise our weight loss goals.

My weight loss journey this past year has made me review my relationship with food. The new knowledge has allowed me to take better control of my food choices. This is all part of my continuous self-development. Owning my diet is one of the ways I am learning about me. Developing myself, my body, my mind and how and why I relate in particular ways to the external world. More importantly with that understanding, how I can be in control of it. In this case the world of food and eating and weight loss /weight management.

The New Normal!

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“The world is on a bumpy journey to a new destination and the new normal” Mohammed El Erian

I was having a conversation with a friend the other day. We were lamenting about our current plight (lockdown due to COVID,) and reminiscing about the way life used to be prior. When we had the “freedom to move around as we wished.

Then it occurred to me that I am not sure for many life was better, before COVID. For instance, my friend (I will call him John-not his real name), is a self-employed lawyer. His daily life entailed waking up at the crack of dawn. Hurriedly leaving the house in an effort to beat traffic on his way to work each day. Getting caught up in traffic anyway, and ending up sitting in that traffic, for at least1 to 2 hours. Many commuters had the same idea as John.

When he would eventually get to work, invariably his clients would show up late, even as much as an hour. The excuse? “Salaaala!, the traffic is so bad today!” This adjustment in time for the first meeting would have a snowball effect on all subsequent meetings, creating havoc on his schedule. 

Once the meetings began, John would be going from one meeting to the next. The rushed schedule meant that he barely had enough time to grab a decent meal (if you can call a meal on the go, decent). Frequently, after meetings, John would have to put in time in administrative time in his office. Often unable or unwilling to leave the office before 8 pm. 

John would leave town at the end of the day, hungry, and exhausted, only to find himself stuck in traffic again. This evening/night traffic was as a result of people like him, opting or forced to stay late in the office. They all had the same idea, leave later and avoid the rush hour traffic. After sitting in traffic for at least another hour or more, John would get home, beaten and beat down. His only recourse was to grab a bite and stumble into a bed, “looking forward” to the same again the next day.

Exciting right? This is what COVID has taken from many of us. How can we miss this hectic life that many of us saw as a normal life? Normal because it is how we have been conditioned. Not a healthy life and not sustainable in the long term. It is not surprising that stress and lifestyle diseases are on an upsurge in the world. 

With COVID forcing many of us to stay home as our new “normal”, I asked John how his work situation has been affected? His answer? As his movements are now restricted, and he is unable to go into work each day, John has had to adjust his life accordingly. All his face to face meetings have been replaced by online meetings (Zoom or Skype etc. ). He has also discovered that a lot of the “busy work” he was doing daily seems to have reduced.

His routine had changed significantly due to COVID. With the new lockdown, John wakes up daily and plans his meetings. He does have the allowance to go to work a few days a week but often opts not to. Embracing working online, including phone or internet meetings, he has discovered it is not necessary for him to leave his home as often as he used to.  

John does not wake up as early as before. When he does wake up early, he can use that time for his own leisure and in the comfort of his home. Not rushing and stuck in traffic. He now can take time to eat a proper breakfast before his workday begins. In lockdown, John can eat proper stress-free breakfast before his workday begins at 9 am.  John’s meals now are freshly cooked and healthier. A better option than the store-bought fast food that sustained him for years, due to little time and less choice, whilst in the “rat race”. John’s answer was encouraging giving hope for a better future

Meetings now seem to take less time. Clients seem to wast less time online with John and not face to face. There are also less distractions. With all the pro’s of lock down for John’s lifestyle, the most useful one is the time he saves with no cummute. He is able save as much as 2 to 4 hours each day which he can use to be more productive with work.

By 5/6 pm John can complete his workday. He is not too tired at the end of the day, and even has time and energy to exercise. Somthing he only did on the weekends, pre-COVID. John finds that he is not spend as much money and his stress levels have reduced. All in all, he was achieving a better work-life balance, a more sustainable way to live. 

Currently, John goes into the office when he absolutely must. Due to the lockdown, there is less traffic, and he can make it to the office or back home in 20 minutes. The online component of his work means that he does not go into the office often. Only when he must and for the shortest time possible. There is still his health to consider and increased exposure creates a higher possibility of infection.

Looking at life from the perspective of John’s new “normal” is it not better that we are restricted? Though not wished for, the “lockdown situation” has forced many of us to re-evaluate our lives. What the pros and cons of the old life versus this new one? Will it be possible to see a future after COVID and lockdown? A future where we make different decisions about how we value ourselves and our time? 

Time is a finite commodity and yet we spend at least half in pursuit of a “better” life. What is the point of that “better” life. This pursuit often leads to detririorating well being and increased stress. Increasing our chance of lifestyle diseases. We are at breaking point and until COVID could not see an alternative way. We were unable to see the forest for the trees?

What if we decided to value our time more? Pursue professional careers, yet, do it in a way that is not detrimental to our overall health and wellbeing. What if we reduce the time we spend commuting or even in physical offices? We only go to work when we absolutely must? What if we gave as much attention to our sleep, relaxation, eating as we do our pursuit for more wealth? What if we strived for a better work-life balance?

COVID has forced us all to stop and evaluate ourselves and the way we have been living. COVID lockdown has forced us to have an improved lifestyle. More time at home, less commute time, more controlled spending to name a few. Eating wholesome fresh home cooking. More time to relax. More time with our loved ones. Surely this is better for us in the long run? 

I am not saying we should stay locked down indefinitely. I am suggesting that we review critically all the positives in our current situations. Compare them objectively to the lives we lived before. Learn from this forced situation and pick a new “normal”. A new “normal” that will enhance our lifestyles in the future. After this, we don ‘t want to just live to work. We can work and we can live. We can manage both in balance, allowing us a healthier more balanced lifestyle. 

When I grow Up

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When we are children we seldom think of the future. This innocence leaves us free to enjoy ourselves as few adults can. The day we fret about the future is the day we leave our childhood behind. Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind 

As I continue on this journey called life, I am getting used to being an empty nester. I review my life regularly and I’m grateful that I can look back and remember a lot of my childhood. In addition to looking back, I also look forward with hope and expectation. Asking myself how to reinvent me, to grow and learn, to become. Difficult though it may be, I find the process a great adventure. The next adventure of my life and there have been many!

I love that I am in that position where I can ask myself, what and who I want to be. I am not so arrogant as to think I have reached the pinnacle, far from it. There are times when I am am overwhelmed. When I am thinking about all the things that I have not done and might still want to do. Time moves so quickly, I hope there is enough. When I feel panicked about time, I review all I have accomplished and experienced through the years. This helps me maintain balance. Reminds me that though I still have many things I want to do. I have thus far lived a fulfilling life. A life full of activity and adventure, giving me balance.

What do I want to be when I grow up?

I remember when playing as a child and being really happy. Laughing a lot, playing outdoors, climing trees, sneaking to the river. Living in complete childlike abandon. My playmates and I particularly like climbing fruit trees as they had the added incentive of the fruit that we could eat. There was this particular guava tree when in fruit had the biggest juiciest sweetest guavas. I remember sitting on its smooth branches for hours gorging myself with guava fruit. How simple life was then.

We had such fantastical dreams and imagination. I recall wanting to be a cowboy. Must have read about it somewhere as we did not have television. We believed that to be a cowboy, you had to ride a cow. Once, my playmates convinced me (it did not take much) to jump off of the tree branch I was sitting on, onto a cow grazing below. This would make me a bonafide cowboy! I did jump down onto the cow, it did not go as expected. Well, let’s say I am still alive to tell the tale.

Recently I called a childhood friend of mine Watene, to ask him if he remembers what we used to talk about becoming when we grew up. I have known this guy since I was eight and we spent a lot of time together both at boarding school and at home in the holidays (our parents were friends). He laughed, at my odd question, yet one that he probably had thought of himself. How often do we look at our lives and wonder if we had made one different decision, what our lives would be now? Anyway, he was not much help, or maybe what he said was liberating.

As we spoke through the memories of our times as children, we both discovered that we were way too busy being kids to bother ourselves with what we were going to be when we grew up, which was aeons away. It was hard work just trying to think about what we were going to eat for our next meal. Too much thought into the future would have gotten in the way, the thinking was definitely optional. It would have ruined the ability for us to play, laugh and generally enjoy ourselves and living responsibility-free life, as children often do, or should. 

Lucky children that we were, we bothered with the more important things, like having fun! We enjoyed ourselves no matter what we did or where we were. It did not matter that we were not extraordinarily beautiful or had good figures. We cared nothing for wealth, or that we had not travelled the world. In our minds, we had circumnavigated the entire galaxy several times over.

In retrospect, I realize how wonderful it was to be so carefree. Carefree enough to only worry about enjoying the moment. Now I should use the wisdom gained from experience and an awesome childhood. Make a great effort in living now, loving now, laughing now and not worrying too much about things that are beyond my control. What has been has been, and what will be will be. I don’t have the power to change it.

I do however have the power to choose how to live now. Choose to love with abandon and not care it’s reciprocated. Laugh now until tears stream down my cheeks. Laugh until my belly hurts. Think, feel, do, so that twenty years from now, I can look back and smile from my soul. Smile, knowing that I of lived my life to the fullest.

Self Caddying and Divots!

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“It is our collective and individual responsibility… to preserve and tend to the world in which we all live” Dalai Lama

I have started playing golf again. However, due to the COVID situation, many things have changed in my everyday life. My problem is not being solitary, that I am used to. What is driving me crazy and making me lose sleep is lack exercise. I wake up in the middle of the night, mind tired but my body, wide awake. 

I like to move, to walk, see landscapes. As I exercise I like to process what is going on around me. Exercise is a necessity for my wellbeing. I need it and regularly too.  When in Mombasa I normally walk on the beach early in the morning. It is lovely so serene and quiet. The only company I normally have are fishermen. They are there at the crack of dawn, repairing their fishing apparel or heading quietly to sea on their surfboards or Ngalaus (local fishing boats). 

I loved the morning, the sunrise, the freshness of the sand and sea as the day was breaking. That was then, pre-COVID. Now the story is different on the beach. No matter how early I go out to the beach these days, it is packed with young people. These young people congregate in groups, completely ignoring social distancing, exercising and swimming and generally being young people. 

They do not interfere with me in my walk per se. Only that I have to constantly bob and weave between and amongst them, on the beach. Gone is my quiet serenity, gone is the silence of daybreak. Now the morning is full of human traffic and the noise that comes with it. Further, there is an increased potential for infection as none of them has masks on, as prescribed by current law.

The young people are taking full advantage of the fact that schools are closed, hence extended holidays. I do not begrudge them of their ability to take advantage of an otherwise impossible situation. I love their zeal and youth and energy so early in the morning. Yet I do feel like they have invaded my beach. 

A beach I shared only with the little crabs, and my handful of fishermen. We co-existed in the silence and got on with what brought us to the beach. Me with my mental and physical exercise, the fishermen their livelihood. The COVID situation and the aftermath, ran me off my beach, leaving me and a little lost and unsure.

Still, in need of early morning solitude and exercise, I decided to look for another haven; The golf course and early morning golf. With the COVID situation, this meant playing golf and self-caddying. Admittedly, I was daunted by the idea of self-caddying. 

Golfers here, are accustomed to using caddies to carry our bags, clean our clubs, and spot our balls when we hit. These wonderful individuals will further go into the bush to find our balls when necessary. Caddies are further expected to fill our divots on the fairways as we play. They smooth the sand in the bunkers after we have left it looking like a construction zone; 20 tries to get out of the bunker will do that. They show us the line on the green for us to putt. Possibly the most important one, they are also our scapegoats when we make a bad shot “my caddy gave me the wrong club, what is wrong with him/her” 

So yes I can play golf, but I have to carry my own bag. I must figure out where my ball goes once I hit it. If it enters a bush, as they sometimes will, I then have to decide whether to go into the bush after it (with the possibility of snakes in there? (Never) or leave it and play a different ball. Playing golf in the time of COVID means I must also carry my bag of sand to fill my divots each time I make them. I must also carry a rake in my bag, to rake the bunker once I am done hacking in the sand. 

The upside of this new golf is that I will be all alone. I can have back my serene, quiet morning. A big advantage I realise. How many times have I wanted my caddy to disappear in the course of a game? That is when he is talking too much and giving (unsolicited) advice? 

Now I have the opportunity to be completely alone for the 9 or 18 holes of golf. No one to speak to, to check on the flight of my ball ones it leaves my club and so on, you get the drift. Completely on my own, just like I like it right? Well, somewhat, they do say be careful what you wish for!!

I chose to brave it. First thing I had to do was sheepishly ask the caddy master to show me how to place and secure my bag onto the trolley. Due to social distancing, he could only instruct me from a distance. I have never done it so…… Never looked at how the caddy has been doing it, he always put it on so effortlessly. I have though, in the past been irritated with the caddy, wondering what was taking him so long to prepare my golf bag. This impatience was when I would come to play golf, with issues in my head, ill-tempered and impatient. 

Now I know it is not that easy, but I will get the hang of it in time. It does take ages to get it on and secured properly. If not secured properly the bag will slide off the cart and onto the ground. This then breaks the flow of my game, and am back at trying to secure it again. So better to do it right the first time. Oh, the lessons I am learning!

The most important lesson I have learned during my self-caddying experience is to never take people for granted. A caddies job does not seem that big of a deal until the caddy is no longer there, suddenly am thinking, we do not pay them nearly enough for all the things they do to make our game experience so seamless!

If we equate divots on the golf course to life and how we live. When playing golf, we tend to hit the ball forward and move. We move with no thought of any divot we created and left on the fairway, for the next player to find their ball in that divot. Mindless about fixing the divot we created, because, its someone else’s responsibility to fill.   If we equate the golf course with the earth we live in, then how many divots do we create in our daily lives, whether on purpose or by mistake? How many times are we even aware that we are creating the divots? And when we know we are responsible for the divots, what do we do about it? 

Are we aware of the total effect that all the uncovered divots have on the earth in the long run? In golf, if we played, creating divots and not filling them, we would end up with one big divot, no fairways anymore. Now the earth? Is it not the divot effect coming into play? We do not take the time or have the awareness to fill the divots we create. We do not care how they affect our fellow man nor the earth in general. 

If we do not understand during this era of COVID when we have time to take stock of our surroundings and our behaviour. Understand the implications of what we have done with the earth, by not correcting our mistakes. Then we will end up with earth so broken we will be unable to fix it, it will be too late. One giant divot instead of a golf course! One wasteland instead of our earth.

So my take on self-caddying. I should be self-caddying in golf as well as in life. Paying attention to my part in the whole thing, aware of my surroundings, and the effects of my footprint on this earth. I should appreciate others around me and the important role they play in easing my way through this world.   What divots am I creating on this earth and how do I play my part in ensuring I cover every one of them each time I create them?  We should all take this time to review our game of life and what divots we create and how to mitigate or at the very worst, repair them to ensure the sustainability of this earth for our children and their children, for tomorrow.

Diet “Tips and Cheats”

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My weight loss journey continued, and with it, questions and challenges arose that I needed to address, and “tips and cheats” that I developed to help me traverse my diet journey. One such question was about weigh-in. In the past, I avoided the scale and hence did not weigh myself. Except during doctor’s visits where it is mandatory. I did not know whether or not I was losing weight and to what extent.  As a solution, I decided to do a weigh-in once a month with the nutritionist alongside checking my other metrics.

I will admit that I because I became very anal about food during my diet, subsequently, I only ate what was on my list. To reduce temptations during the early days of my diet, I did not socialize hardly at all. My fear of not having developed enough will power to stick to my diet, kept me home. The success of my diet depended on ensuring I stuck to the prescribed foods, eating only when was hungry, and ensuring that the correct type of food for my diet was readily available. 

I was initially on smoothies and soups. I would prepare the smoothies daily and drink them the same day, actually within a few hours of preparation. Smoothies because of the fruits in them, tend to ferment/spoil quickly so should be consumed as quickly as possible after preparation. 

Soup, I prepared in bulk. Different types of soups to vary my diet and stimulate my taste buds. I would make a full pot of each type of soup. Once prepared, I would portion them into individual meal sizes and freeze them. Each morning before leaving to work, I would remove two soups from the freezer. One soup I would take with me to work for lunch.   The other I would place in the fridge to slowly defrost. By the end of the day, I would warm that soup for dinner.

During my diet journey, I needed to eat my food at the same time each day. If I delayed eating, I would get an immediate headache. I now understand that this is due to the drop in blood sugar in my system. In retrospect, I see how easy it is to steer away from our diets. We get hungry and reach to eat the quickest most convenient food available. Most convenience foods, however, are the bane of any diet. Many are made with refined flours and sugars and hence not very good for someone trying to lose weight. 

Another diet “cheat” was given to me by my nutritionist at the start of my diet. It was a shake, one she called a meal replacement shake(I will share the details of this later). I carried this shake in my bag at all times. If by chance I was unable to get to my soups on time. I would mix this shake with a glass of water. It would give me the sustenance I needed and pure calories, until my next proper meal. However because this shake is a meal replacement, if I drank it, I would then reduce my food portion by 1 for the day. It was very effective and kept me on my diet straight and narrow.

The key to the success of diet was to reduce my caloric intake into my body. According to my nutritionist, during that first month, I was probably on between 700 to 800 calories per day. Needless to say, I did not exercise at all. I probably would not have had the energy for it, had I tried. I believe that is why I lost so much weight so quickly. This type of diet is not sustainable long term, because the body needs more than 700 calories a day. It served the purpose for that couple of months and then as time went by I increased the calories and introduced exercise. The weight loss continues at a slower yet consistent pace.

At some point in my diet, I began intermittent fasting, another tip. I heard about it from a friend who was doing it. According to her, it was so effective that she was using it as her only weight loss plan. In my zeal to reduce the weight, I did some research on it and decided to modify my existing diet and add intermittent fasting. I add it to my existing. So now based on the plan, I would begin my food day at midday and continue until 7 pm for my last meal, until midday the next day. 

By the time I began the intermittent fasting,  my food intake had reduced significantly and my body was now accustomed to my new food “normal”.   Switching to midday for a first meal not difficult.   I have to confess it became such a habit, that even now I begin my food day at 12 midday. When I began the intermittent fasting, I did not initially tell my nutritionist because I was sure she would try to stop me. I followed the “two” diets and weighed in religiously each month. I also did my regular blood tests monthly to ensure all was okay. 

The biggest takeaway from all this? Planning. Determine your food for the day in advance. Even now as the day begins, I make decisions on what I will eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner that day. That way I do not make food mistakes by not being prepared enough. Ensure that there is always healthy food available in the form of fruits, vegetables, soups etc… that you can grab and eat when hungry. I also do not keep convenience foods in my house, and I go out only on very rare occasions, choosing instead to eat wholesome home-cooked meals daily.

Golf musings in Quarantine

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“Keep your sense of humor. There’s enough stress in the rest of your life not to let bad shots ruin a game you’re supposed to enjoy.” – Amy Alcott

I am in quarantine and experiencing cabin fever. Reason being, I have been indoors for an extended amount of time, unable or maybe even too prudent to leave. I don’t miss the social aspects of life, as I am a solitary creature so the quiet and solitude works for me. What I miss is the exercise, the routine, the things that make up my everyday life. I normally try to play a round of golf each morning (my daily exercise). Due to this new situation that has befallen all of us, I am homebound. 

Before the COVID curfew, I had reached a point where my elbows on both arms were complaining. Too much golf, it was time to take a break. With my personality, I probably would not have done it on my own accord. I would have stubbornly, continued playing. Eventually reverting to Deep Heat and other things to ease the pains, instead of just giving my arms and body a break. 

Why is it so important to me? It is a form of exercise that gets me out early in the morning and has me out in nature. That time of the morning the world is just waking up. The dew is still on the grass and it is quiet and everything is fresh and sparkling. The sun is out yet gentle and beginning its steady climb up. Morning, when the suns rays just kiss my skin. As I walk, as I argue with this little ball, about who will get the better of whom? 

I listen to music as I play golf, my choice of music, depending on my mood that morning. Sometimes I take my headphones off and listen to the songs of nature as the world awakes. It is lovely and new, the birdsongs, the sounds of the ocean as it hits the shores. I walk in solitude, listen to the “quiet” of the morning. I have time to look around, admiring the beautiful the course with its well-cut fairways, not very challenging rough, and its beautifully manicured greens. 

The sand bunkers beacon me and I graciously decline, I don’t do well with bunkers. I watch the grounds team as I walk by. They are clearing, cutting busy making the course even better. I watch the sprinklers as they water the fairways to keep them green. So much effort goes to keeping this course in top shape. The club employs many people to man the grounds and ensures that our playing experience maximized.

I fell in love with the game. From the very first day, when I ventured onto the range to “give it a try”, I became besotted with the game. A love affair that has persisted all these years. As time passed, I got better acquainted with golf. The more I played more the more I fell deeply in love with golf. 

The game of golf, I love, though not all the fluff that comes with it. I do not like the 19th hole. Socializing at the club is not my strong point. I have made good friends at the club, but I do not spend much time in the clubhouse etc. 

I do not like the politics associated with golf clubs. There is also a lot of elitism which is not very pleasant. I am not very keen on the way people deal with each other socially at the club. However, because mine is to come into the club, play golf, and leave. I only socialize with people I like and deal with only those that I chose to deal with. I am having a great time of it. Currently, the clubhouse isn’t even open, the only people that frequent the club now are the ones playing golf. 

The thing I love about golf is the individualism of it.   My preference when playing with other people, once the pleasantries are dealt with, is to concentrate on my game. Testing myself, by focusing on every shot. I love to take risky shots, shots that maybe a more prudent golfer (person?) would shy away from. These risky shots are great when they work, and hilariously bad when they don’t. Many serious golfers get annoyed at me when I laugh when my risky shots turn into foibles They tell me I could be a better player if I took the game more seriously. My response? I play golf to have fun!

This was my normal, before COVID before I was locked down in my house. It took a while for the club to decide what to do about us playing golf. With the lockdown and the initial panic and social distancing, it became a bit unclear whether we were welcome to play or not. No matter, I am sure they will find a way for me to continue playing this game I love so much. In the meantime, I just look into my mind’s eye and remember my morning golfing moments and that will keep me going for a while.

Bloodwork And Malnutrition

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Remember the sceptical doctor and his misgivings about my diet choices? Well, because of him, I find myself doing monthly blood work, as I promised. My experience with the very first of those tests made me think about what I was doing. Following is an account of that time and the decision I made about the blood tests.

I will start off by saying that it is a good thing my medical is covered by my work insurance. It could get very expensive otherwise. I finally succumbed to getting the tests done at the end of May and agreed to repeat it monthly.

I did not take the comment on malnutrition as a joke. Coming from Africa, I know what malnutrition looks like first hand. Luckily I have not had the misfortune of suffering from malnutrition. However, I am familiar with diseases related to malnutrition, such as Kwashiorkor. According to medicalnewstoday.com, Kwashiorkor is caused by severe malnutrition, particularly a lack of protein and other essential nutrients. The human body needs sufficient nutrients including protein, to maintain fluid balance in the body. 

A sidebar; When my Angel was growing up, I would always threaten her with Kwashiorkor and Marasmus. This is when she was reluctant to finish her meal. When I told the diseases my Angel would get for not finishing her food, she would quickly eat her food. She was afraid of these diseases with big names. Marasmus is another disease due to malnutrition. In this case, the body wastes away from the lack of nutrients, proteins and energy. Resulting in minimal subcutaneous fat and severe muscle wasting.

This scare tactic worked well for my daughter until the beginning of high school. This is when they began studying tropical disease in her Biology class. With the new knowledge of tropical diseases, she was able to argue. Showing me that she was not now and had never been at risk for either diseases. This she argued was because she always ate balanced meals of adequate quantity. Well, it worked for many years and got her to eat her food so there!

Malnutrition is very real in developing countries. Countries where people do not have enough to eat and do not always eat a balanced diet. Malnutrition targets the more vulnerable of our society, children. If the disease is not treated in time, reversed by introducing more calories and proteins, to the sick child’s diet, can lead to death. 

Though Kwashiorkor is more prevalent in children. I believe the doctor’s concern was that, in dieting and depending on how desperate a person is to lose weight; They can reduce their caloric intake so significantly causing more harm than good. Even in adults, malnutrition and can become life-threatening, if taken to extremes. 

Cases occur of people starving themselves to lose weight. Desperate people do very drastic things to lose weight and end up hurting themselves, even to the point of death. Anorexia is one of the main culprits of this. Additionally, people harm their bodies with behaviours’ such as those found in bulimics. These things happen every day when the desperation of weight loss outweighs one’s sense of self-preservation.

I was clear from the beginning, that I did not want to do any harm to my body, in this weight loss process. Hence my willingness to do the blood tests, to ensure that I was not losing important nutrients during my weight loss journey.

To fulfil my promise to the doctor, I found myself early one morning, at the doctor’s office to give blood for the first test. This is after fasting from before midnight (not ingesting anything including water). I was somewhat nervous, not from a fear of needles, more about the results of this blood test. Being so sure I was eating healthily and on a roll with my new diet. My results showing that the diet was on was working, I did not want to stop. 

The fear of reverting to my old food habits made me not want to stop my diet. It would mean that the progress I had made the last two months would have been a complete waste. Worse, stopping would mean that what all the naysayers had said would be right. I could not hack it. 

Not being a fan of supplements, I would not have liked have to take any vitamin supplements to my daily regime, as a result of depleted nutrients. I am a big advocate on all things natural. My diet thus far had been all-natural and I was thriving in my chosen path.

With these misgivings, I gave the blood and left, hoping for the best. I spent the day apprehensive about what the results would say. So many people had been so negative about my ability to see it through successfully. The last thing I needed was to find out that my efforts were so extreme, that I was now suffering some type of vitamin deficiency and/or malnutrition. 

Eventually, the doctor called and all was well, in fact in some areas like cholesterol and blood sugar, had improved, and all the other markers were within the normal range. Thank God. A vindication for me to continue my diet. I was ecstatic! 

I quickly forwarded the results to the doctor and was able to continue on my diet without any misgivings. When I look back, I know the doctor meant well. He was concerned about my health and general well being. Or at least that is how I prefer to rationalize it.

Unfortunately, I also realize that there were those people I encountered in my journey who were very negative about my process. I have learned that times when people are negative about efforts you are making in your personal development, they are usually mirroring their inadequacies on to you. They may not understand nor do they need to. It is not their journey. I call this group of people the “peanut gallery”. They have an opinion about things that don’t concern them.

As long as you have chosen your path and taken pains to ensure you are doing it in a healthy sustainable way; You should not waiver from that path. Put your will power to the test and use your determination to forge your way forward on your journey to weight loss and personal development!

You can do this! Good Luck!