20 does not seem like a lot of days, but the type of diet I was on, it felt like a lifetime. I had successfully managed to stay true to the liquid diet. After 20 days the doubt and subsequent questions began in my head.

1. After all the sacrifice dieting, if the results showed no weight loss, then have I been depriving myself for nothing? 

2. And the 14-day diet originally prescribed by the nutritionist, extended to 20 days, could be doing me more harm than good?

3. Will I ever be able to eat regular food again? without regaining the weight?

These were some of the main questions in my mind at the time. Questions that were very real and kept me up at night trying to answer. Additionally, I had other challenges.

I found myself craving the individual tastes of particular foods. To resolve this, I would eat my smoothie or bowl of soup. What I ate resulted in giving me one prevailing taste, and due to habit, my body was craving more varied and distinct tastes.

These cravings had nothing to do with hunger more about learned behaviour. Further, ingested food ends up in the stomach. Since the stomach has no brain, it does not distinguish between foods, in terms of tastes and texture sensations. The different food sensation of tastes and textures occurs in the mouth and the mind. I craved different tastes and textures.

What I know of cravings is they happen in the mind. When our bodies are missing something certain nutrients or from habit. Instead of ignoring the cravings, I instead chose to indulge my mind. I decided to eat exactly what my body was craving. (warning, not for the squeamish) 

To deal with the cravings, yet maintain my diet, I came up with a plan. To eat my one bowl of soup, as usual for dinner. Once full, yet still craving, I would take the vegetables or meat, chew and spit them out. 

As I did not need the additional food in my stomach, I would not swallow it. I know this sounds disgusting. Please note that I did not ever swallow the meats or vegetables, regret my decision to do so, and purposely throw it back up. 

I know this sounds crazy, but I was determined to stick to my diet. Retelling this particular diet experience is met with mixed reactions… Some say that those are the first signs of Bulimia. Others find it wasteful, and some find it funny. Everyone agreed it is disgusting. 

It did require a lot of discipline to chew food and not to swallow it. I discovered in this process that, I have a lot of discipline. Satisfy my cravings without compromising my diet. As I was in the privacy of my home and alone, no one had to witness this little “trick”. Although this was not an ideal situation, it was a means to an end.

I emphasize that I did not swallow the food then subsequently, make myself throw it back up. This behaviour, which is practised by some to diet, can be very dangerous. The process of throwing up food by force can result in dehydration and other very serious side effects.

I conclude this by saying that in the process of this diet, I learned little tricks (I will continue to share them with you), which helped me manage my old food habits, hence, modifying my overall relationship with food. This relationship had to change for my diet to be successful, and end up my ultimately as my new lifestyle.